LIFE LESSON # 534,698
I have learned an important life lesson, the hard way, this past weekend. 
Never talk to children when you’ve been drinking.
So Thursday night, I stumbled over to the neighbor’s house to retrieve my lovely princess from their pool. (Heck it was 10pm and a weeknight!) and found that ALL the little girls from the hood were swimming over there. As I am telling the kid to get her arse outta the pool and ‘come on’ she begins what is known as the bargaining technique..
The bargaining technique is used whenever a child wants something and is not within smacking distance….
Here’s how our little angel uses it:
A: Wah! I DON’T WANNA LEAVE!!! WHY DO I HAVE TO LEAVE? NO ONE ELSE IS LEAVING!!!! WAH!! WAH!! WAH!!
Me: Come on darling, it’s late and I have to get up at 4:30 in the morning. I just want to know that you are safe and in the house before I go to sleep. (And to myself, “And plus, I’m wearing a ratty old night gown, that’s totally see thru and no bra, therefore let’s get the heck out of dodge before the neighbor’s husband walks out.”)
A: Wah! I DON’T WANNA LEAVE!!! WHY DO I HAVE TO LEAVE? WHY!! WHY!! WHY!!!!!! WAH!! WAH!! WAH!!
Me: (To myself, “Oh crap, here he comes!! Hide Boobies! Don’t.stand.in.the.light..”) Come on darling! If you get out of the pool now (Right freaking now!) I’ll let you have a spend the night tomorrow.
A: Mu-wah wah!! Can ALL the girls come over?
Me: Ofcourse, now let’s run home. (To myself: RUN!!! Get your crap and MOVE IT!)
So guess who calls me at work the next day?
A: So we’ll be having 4 girls beside me, over tonight (Mu-wah wah!) Let’s order Pizza!!!
Me: Oh.kill.me.now..
Yep, 5 ten and eleven year old girls camped out at MY house, in the living room. Giggling,
gossiping, singing, dancing, eating pizza, drinking all my sodas, pouting, PMSing till 7am the next day..
I have quit drinking.
Never talk to children when you’ve been drinking.
So Thursday night, I stumbled over to the neighbor’s house to retrieve my lovely princess from their pool. (Heck it was 10pm and a weeknight!) and found that ALL the little girls from the hood were swimming over there. As I am telling the kid to get her arse outta the pool and ‘come on’ she begins what is known as the bargaining technique..
The bargaining technique is used whenever a child wants something and is not within smacking distance….
Here’s how our little angel uses it:
A: Wah! I DON’T WANNA LEAVE!!! WHY DO I HAVE TO LEAVE? NO ONE ELSE IS LEAVING!!!! WAH!! WAH!! WAH!!
Me: Come on darling, it’s late and I have to get up at 4:30 in the morning. I just want to know that you are safe and in the house before I go to sleep. (And to myself, “And plus, I’m wearing a ratty old night gown, that’s totally see thru and no bra, therefore let’s get the heck out of dodge before the neighbor’s husband walks out.”)
A: Wah! I DON’T WANNA LEAVE!!! WHY DO I HAVE TO LEAVE? WHY!! WHY!! WHY!!!!!! WAH!! WAH!! WAH!!
Me: (To myself, “Oh crap, here he comes!! Hide Boobies! Don’t.stand.in.the.light..”) Come on darling! If you get out of the pool now (Right freaking now!) I’ll let you have a spend the night tomorrow.
A: Mu-wah wah!! Can ALL the girls come over?
Me: Ofcourse, now let’s run home. (To myself: RUN!!! Get your crap and MOVE IT!)
So guess who calls me at work the next day?
A: So we’ll be having 4 girls beside me, over tonight (Mu-wah wah!) Let’s order Pizza!!!
Me: Oh.kill.me.now..
Yep, 5 ten and eleven year old girls camped out at MY house, in the living room. Giggling,
gossiping, singing, dancing, eating pizza, drinking all my sodas, pouting, PMSing till 7am the next day..I have quit drinking.
1 comment:
Hey when I am and was hit up with the oh man I forgets,, I would and do bye all kinds of food stuff and movies and stuff liek tha t,, put it in the middle of hte livingroom and run for the bedroom lock the door and pray they will go away in the morning....
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