There I said it, Titties!! I am going straight to hell. But I must comment on the Future Princess Consort Camilla's rack. I am just sure that the English press must hate her worse than spicey food. I know this is true, because every bit of footage that they are showing of her, has her in that hideous Gunny Sack Prom Dress from the '80's. (The white long sleeved number.) It doesn't do a thing for her figure!!
I am guessing that Camilla is probably loaded considering that she is dating a Prince and lives on a big estate in England. I just gotta wonder why she doesn't invest in a Wonder Bra. Lord help us, Queen Elizabeth's breasts are about six inches highes on her chest that Cam's and she is 20 years older and has spit out 4 kids as compared to Cam's 2. (Probably didn't breast feed them though. I am sure that this duty feel to the Royal Milk Nurse or Royal Nanny.)
Camilla honey, let's get this show on the road! Go out and have those fangs brightened so you don't look like Austin Powers and invest in some support bras. And very soon you too will be the toast of England. We all love a Princess, even if she's a Princess Consort!!
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Monday, February 14, 2005
Please, I need advice..
My boss is a total ass. He is arrogant and pompous. These are his good qualities!! Here's my concern. He has this habit of flicking people in the head. Yep, I said FLICKING PEOPLE IN THE HEAD.
The first time he showed this side to me, we were standing in the middle of the office surrounded by about 5 other people and he had some papers in his hand. We were talking about a customer and he didn't like the answer that I gave him, so he just reached over and banged me over the head with his papers. I was stunned. I didn't know how to react. I come from a culture (upbringing) where hitting just doesn't take place, and isn't allowed. Even when you are trying to be cute. I am sure that I turned instantly red allover. (I also do not appreciate it when someone touches my head or hair - think Mary's brother in Something About Mary.)
I was so pissed, but I didn't say anything. I thought that I might be over reacting, but then I heard a coworker say to someone else in the office, "For God's sake, don't piss him off, or he'll hit you too." I told a couple of my girlfriends about it later and they were also mortified, but had no real advice on how to handle it. I also told my hubby about it and he wanted to whoop his ass. (I think because he saw how mortified I was when I told him.)
Oh it doesn't stop here. He has also done this to a coworker. And the boss has tried to flick me in the head again, twice!! One time, he was setting at his desk and I was standing beside him. (He asked me a question, then when I answered, he puts his fingers up and tries to flick me in the head.) Last time this happened I backed away and he said, "Come here." like he thought I would let him hit me!! I just looked at him real dirty and changed the subject.
Again, the stupid bastard tried to do it to me again this morning!!! This was about 10 minutes after I drove an hour and half thru the damn rain to get to work!!! Bastard!! He didn't do it, but he stood over me with his fingers about 8 inches from my forehead like he was going to flick me. I don't even know why! Ok, like I said, I need advice please.
Although I am not a hitter. (damn I have spent the last 20 something years teaching my kids not to hit) I was so close to putting my fingers together and pretending like I was going to flick him in the balls. I would have, but I thought that it would border on some kind of "sexual workplace" infraction.
I don't know what to do!! Should I say something like, "Excuse me, we do not hit." Call his Boss and tell him what's going on? Try to be cute about it when he does it? or just continue to ignore it? I don't think that I can continue to ignore it, it pisses me off so badly!
I feel that this is an intimindation thing with him. Whenever he does it to me, or I see him do it to someone else, I get really disturbed and angry. Maybe I am over reacting, but if I heard that my husband or children did this to someone, I would totally pitch the world's biggest hissy fit!
Any Ideas?
The first time he showed this side to me, we were standing in the middle of the office surrounded by about 5 other people and he had some papers in his hand. We were talking about a customer and he didn't like the answer that I gave him, so he just reached over and banged me over the head with his papers. I was stunned. I didn't know how to react. I come from a culture (upbringing) where hitting just doesn't take place, and isn't allowed. Even when you are trying to be cute. I am sure that I turned instantly red allover. (I also do not appreciate it when someone touches my head or hair - think Mary's brother in Something About Mary.)
I was so pissed, but I didn't say anything. I thought that I might be over reacting, but then I heard a coworker say to someone else in the office, "For God's sake, don't piss him off, or he'll hit you too." I told a couple of my girlfriends about it later and they were also mortified, but had no real advice on how to handle it. I also told my hubby about it and he wanted to whoop his ass. (I think because he saw how mortified I was when I told him.)
Oh it doesn't stop here. He has also done this to a coworker. And the boss has tried to flick me in the head again, twice!! One time, he was setting at his desk and I was standing beside him. (He asked me a question, then when I answered, he puts his fingers up and tries to flick me in the head.) Last time this happened I backed away and he said, "Come here." like he thought I would let him hit me!! I just looked at him real dirty and changed the subject.
Again, the stupid bastard tried to do it to me again this morning!!! This was about 10 minutes after I drove an hour and half thru the damn rain to get to work!!! Bastard!! He didn't do it, but he stood over me with his fingers about 8 inches from my forehead like he was going to flick me. I don't even know why! Ok, like I said, I need advice please.
Although I am not a hitter. (damn I have spent the last 20 something years teaching my kids not to hit) I was so close to putting my fingers together and pretending like I was going to flick him in the balls. I would have, but I thought that it would border on some kind of "sexual workplace" infraction.
I don't know what to do!! Should I say something like, "Excuse me, we do not hit." Call his Boss and tell him what's going on? Try to be cute about it when he does it? or just continue to ignore it? I don't think that I can continue to ignore it, it pisses me off so badly!
I feel that this is an intimindation thing with him. Whenever he does it to me, or I see him do it to someone else, I get really disturbed and angry. Maybe I am over reacting, but if I heard that my husband or children did this to someone, I would totally pitch the world's biggest hissy fit!
Any Ideas?
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Time to start burning our Bras!!
What the heck is up (or down,depending on how they hang) with my bra today. It's totally poking me in the side like a six year old on a candy rush! Dangit!! If my knockers didn't drag the floor, I'd go to the ladies room right now and throw this bra in the TOILET!!!
Whoa is the time when I use to wear my manhunting uniforms!! Matching panties and bras that kept my boobies in that nice perky place right under my chin. Hard to believe that time as flown by so fast. I still have those sets, every now and then when I am trawling thru my drawers looking for a missing sock, I will come across the odd bra or stray panty.
Last time I saw my favorite push up being worn, it was tied across my little one's chest. She thought it was the most amazing invention ever. Her little face was lit up like it was Christmas, and she adoringly gaze upon the empty cup, wishing that they would soon "runneth over". Yep, she'll regret that wish soon enough..
Well, I haven't bitched and moaned about office life lately, so here's a little update. We moved our office to the "better" side of town. We are no longer in the hood, but now in a little trendy building at the Perimeter. If you are from Atl, then you must know that the Perimeter area has more traffic than than I-95 during a Hurricane evacuation. I could throw a rock at I-285 from my office, but it takes me 20 minutes to get the darn car on the ramp every night, after work. I now have to drive 1.5 hours to get home every night!!! It's 35 miles, DADBURNIT!!!
Anyway, needless to say, tempers are short around the office, because everyone is trying to adjust to the new drive. One morning I get off the elevator a little before 9am and there sits my coworker, Bad Hair Elvis. So I ask, "Uh, what's up?" and he launches into his tirade about how he is coming from Kennesaw and how it takes him forever to get to work isf he doesn't leave early, and he's been here since 7am this morning trying to get into the office. (None of us Sales People have keys now, because we can't be trusted to not screw with the thermostats, and sharpen our pencils down to wasteful little nubs, when Management is not around.)
So we sit at the elevator for about 15 minutes waiting on someone with a key to show up. I sit, he whines, you know the routine. When suddenly the elevator doors open and there stands the receptionist (Penelope Pittstop) with that wet hair, I just rolled my ass outta bed, look. She is supposed to be in the office by 8am to let us in. She's hourly, we're not.
She's making all the crazy excuses about how she worked out new hours with management. OK, whatever, just let us in already. So she lets us in, and I turn up the computer and try to start work.
I have to go see Penelope for office supplies, so I walk back to her new office. (She picked it, by the corner, biggest-nicest office in the whole place.- I have to ask the question in my head..."Who IS that girl sleeping with?" She's the receptionist for Goodness Sakes!!!) So I am standing there, chit chatting, trying to get my damn supplies, when up walks Elvis. He interrupts as usual to ask some assinine question and then proceeds to throw 2 moving boxes into an empty office. Penelope sees red and says "Stack it up in there!" Elvis wigs out and screams at P, P screams at E. blah blah blah. (Oh yes, I slunk back to my cube.)
Then Elvis comes to me and explains why he was just a total ass to her, and wants to know if he was in the right. Then a little later, P comes to me, same thing. (Crap!-What do I look like, Ms. Manners?!?!) Anywho when the boss (Mr One Up) gets in both are racing to get to him, to tattle first. Then the boss and P race over to me to get the story. I calmly pick up the phone and pretend like I am having a deep conversation with the dial tone. He and P just stand there for like 3 minutes while I talk and talk... Finally they gave up. THANK THE LORD!!
You know when my kids whine, complain and bicker, I always threaten to show them my hideous stretch marks. And when I do, I say, "You think you got problems, Look what you did to Mommy." I was so close...HA HA.
Well it's 1:30 right now and I have all kinds of things that I need to get done. I think that I will go down and shoot the shit with the crazy (crazy nice, not crazy gonna take hostages) Iranian guy who runs the cafe downstairs.
Ciao'
Whoa is the time when I use to wear my manhunting uniforms!! Matching panties and bras that kept my boobies in that nice perky place right under my chin. Hard to believe that time as flown by so fast. I still have those sets, every now and then when I am trawling thru my drawers looking for a missing sock, I will come across the odd bra or stray panty.
Last time I saw my favorite push up being worn, it was tied across my little one's chest. She thought it was the most amazing invention ever. Her little face was lit up like it was Christmas, and she adoringly gaze upon the empty cup, wishing that they would soon "runneth over". Yep, she'll regret that wish soon enough..
Well, I haven't bitched and moaned about office life lately, so here's a little update. We moved our office to the "better" side of town. We are no longer in the hood, but now in a little trendy building at the Perimeter. If you are from Atl, then you must know that the Perimeter area has more traffic than than I-95 during a Hurricane evacuation. I could throw a rock at I-285 from my office, but it takes me 20 minutes to get the darn car on the ramp every night, after work. I now have to drive 1.5 hours to get home every night!!! It's 35 miles, DADBURNIT!!!
Anyway, needless to say, tempers are short around the office, because everyone is trying to adjust to the new drive. One morning I get off the elevator a little before 9am and there sits my coworker, Bad Hair Elvis. So I ask, "Uh, what's up?" and he launches into his tirade about how he is coming from Kennesaw and how it takes him forever to get to work isf he doesn't leave early, and he's been here since 7am this morning trying to get into the office. (None of us Sales People have keys now, because we can't be trusted to not screw with the thermostats, and sharpen our pencils down to wasteful little nubs, when Management is not around.)
So we sit at the elevator for about 15 minutes waiting on someone with a key to show up. I sit, he whines, you know the routine. When suddenly the elevator doors open and there stands the receptionist (Penelope Pittstop) with that wet hair, I just rolled my ass outta bed, look. She is supposed to be in the office by 8am to let us in. She's hourly, we're not.
She's making all the crazy excuses about how she worked out new hours with management. OK, whatever, just let us in already. So she lets us in, and I turn up the computer and try to start work.
I have to go see Penelope for office supplies, so I walk back to her new office. (She picked it, by the corner, biggest-nicest office in the whole place.- I have to ask the question in my head..."Who IS that girl sleeping with?" She's the receptionist for Goodness Sakes!!!) So I am standing there, chit chatting, trying to get my damn supplies, when up walks Elvis. He interrupts as usual to ask some assinine question and then proceeds to throw 2 moving boxes into an empty office. Penelope sees red and says "Stack it up in there!" Elvis wigs out and screams at P, P screams at E. blah blah blah. (Oh yes, I slunk back to my cube.)
Then Elvis comes to me and explains why he was just a total ass to her, and wants to know if he was in the right. Then a little later, P comes to me, same thing. (Crap!-What do I look like, Ms. Manners?!?!) Anywho when the boss (Mr One Up) gets in both are racing to get to him, to tattle first. Then the boss and P race over to me to get the story. I calmly pick up the phone and pretend like I am having a deep conversation with the dial tone. He and P just stand there for like 3 minutes while I talk and talk... Finally they gave up. THANK THE LORD!!
You know when my kids whine, complain and bicker, I always threaten to show them my hideous stretch marks. And when I do, I say, "You think you got problems, Look what you did to Mommy." I was so close...HA HA.
Well it's 1:30 right now and I have all kinds of things that I need to get done. I think that I will go down and shoot the shit with the crazy (crazy nice, not crazy gonna take hostages) Iranian guy who runs the cafe downstairs.
Ciao'
Monday, February 07, 2005
God answers Prayers...Even the little ones.
It's so true. Here's my example. So I have be obsessing about my son's bathroom clutter in the basement. I thought that a shelf would be nice, so Saturday morning I go out to buy a shelf. As I am walking out, my husband informs me that we are broke, as usual. So I go to Big Lots, I also needed a new fluorescent light for the kitchen. Its so dad-blamed dark in there.
So here I am at Big Lots, looking at a $50 shelf, then a $30 plant stand thinking that I hated both of these, and couldn't afford them anyway. So I cruise over to the plastics aisle and check out these cool stackable drawer units that I really liked. But they were $8 per unit and I needed atleast 4 units to start. TOO EXPENSIVE!!
I also didn't find ANY lights for the kitchen, so I mope out of the store and vowed to try K-Mart later in the week. I go home and plug up the existing fluorescent light over the kitchen window, it hasn't worked in over a year, and fix myself a snack. A couple of hours later, as it's getting dark out, I notice that the light IS WORKING!!! It's on, it's shining bright and I LOVE IT!!!
Happy as a clam, I leave to drop the 15yr old to church and WHAT DO I FIND IN THE NEIGHBORS TRASH!!!! An amazing drawer unit with about 8 drawers in all different sizes. The bottom drawer was damaged, but I think that I can turn that one around and still use it. (Before you stone me for picking thru the neighbor's trash, she's moving out of her home and we all pick thru eachothers trash and it's fine with her, so there!)
Once I stuck the lovely drawer unit in the garage to be cleaned up (it has a couple of Cinderella stickers on some of the drawers) and I thought about what I had said earlier in the day when I was looking for the light and shelf units. I think I said something like, "Lord, help me..." AND HE DID!!
I believe that God is also working another miracle in my life right now, but it's so in the premature stages, that I don't even want to talk about it right now, I am afraid that just talking about it will "nosh" the deal. So hopefully, I will have some more good news to share later this week. This one is something that I have prayed and prayed about. I have prayed and begged God so hard on this one that I feel a little guilty about it, but in His own time, it seems that he is also answering this BIG ONE!!
You know, while we are on the subject... About a year ago I saw a miracle and told a couple of people about it and they looked at me like I had lost my mind. I saw this couple at church go up the alter and pray with our pastor for good health for the wife. She has been suffering seizures and blackouts for years. While they were praying with their heads together, I saw like a golden glow rise from between them all, light up there faces. I was mesmorized, I didn't want to move and look away when it happened. It lasted about 30 seconds, I was totally dumbfounded. Yep, a minor miracle or even just something strange, but it certainly got my attention.
I have always been bummed out that I never saw a ghost, an alien or Big Foot. I also have never seen the Virgin Mary in the clouds, or Jesus on a wall or sandwich or anything. But after seeing this light at church, I realized that I had seen many miracles in my lifetime. Like the time on 285 when I saw a lady standing in the middle lanes of the highway beside her overturned SUV without a scratch on her. Or the time that my brother was put thru a hay conveyor and ended up with only mashed fingers. Or my little cousin before he died as a teenager, he told us that he wasn't afraid to die because people from heaven had come to him and told him that they would take care of him there. Or another family member, who on her death bed raised her arms to the sky and said, "Take me Jesus, I am ready to go!"
This last one pissed me off so bad. Here was a 38 year old woman with a new daughter to take care of, and she was suppose to be fighting heart disease. I was so mad that she just gave up and said, "Take me." Later, I realized that she didn't ever give up, that she was put on earth to only live those 38 years and that God gave her the miracle of acceptance of her situation. Her little daughter is now being cared for by the grandparents, and that little girl has brought so much joy into this family who has already lost 2 of their children to death, and is now watching a third child get sick and die.
Anyway, I am obviously opening my cracked heart up today. Forgive me, I am just feeling so sappy over my new drawers and my old (now working) new light. Thank You Lord!!!
So here I am at Big Lots, looking at a $50 shelf, then a $30 plant stand thinking that I hated both of these, and couldn't afford them anyway. So I cruise over to the plastics aisle and check out these cool stackable drawer units that I really liked. But they were $8 per unit and I needed atleast 4 units to start. TOO EXPENSIVE!!
I also didn't find ANY lights for the kitchen, so I mope out of the store and vowed to try K-Mart later in the week. I go home and plug up the existing fluorescent light over the kitchen window, it hasn't worked in over a year, and fix myself a snack. A couple of hours later, as it's getting dark out, I notice that the light IS WORKING!!! It's on, it's shining bright and I LOVE IT!!!
Happy as a clam, I leave to drop the 15yr old to church and WHAT DO I FIND IN THE NEIGHBORS TRASH!!!! An amazing drawer unit with about 8 drawers in all different sizes. The bottom drawer was damaged, but I think that I can turn that one around and still use it. (Before you stone me for picking thru the neighbor's trash, she's moving out of her home and we all pick thru eachothers trash and it's fine with her, so there!)
Once I stuck the lovely drawer unit in the garage to be cleaned up (it has a couple of Cinderella stickers on some of the drawers) and I thought about what I had said earlier in the day when I was looking for the light and shelf units. I think I said something like, "Lord, help me..." AND HE DID!!
I believe that God is also working another miracle in my life right now, but it's so in the premature stages, that I don't even want to talk about it right now, I am afraid that just talking about it will "nosh" the deal. So hopefully, I will have some more good news to share later this week. This one is something that I have prayed and prayed about. I have prayed and begged God so hard on this one that I feel a little guilty about it, but in His own time, it seems that he is also answering this BIG ONE!!
You know, while we are on the subject... About a year ago I saw a miracle and told a couple of people about it and they looked at me like I had lost my mind. I saw this couple at church go up the alter and pray with our pastor for good health for the wife. She has been suffering seizures and blackouts for years. While they were praying with their heads together, I saw like a golden glow rise from between them all, light up there faces. I was mesmorized, I didn't want to move and look away when it happened. It lasted about 30 seconds, I was totally dumbfounded. Yep, a minor miracle or even just something strange, but it certainly got my attention.
I have always been bummed out that I never saw a ghost, an alien or Big Foot. I also have never seen the Virgin Mary in the clouds, or Jesus on a wall or sandwich or anything. But after seeing this light at church, I realized that I had seen many miracles in my lifetime. Like the time on 285 when I saw a lady standing in the middle lanes of the highway beside her overturned SUV without a scratch on her. Or the time that my brother was put thru a hay conveyor and ended up with only mashed fingers. Or my little cousin before he died as a teenager, he told us that he wasn't afraid to die because people from heaven had come to him and told him that they would take care of him there. Or another family member, who on her death bed raised her arms to the sky and said, "Take me Jesus, I am ready to go!"
This last one pissed me off so bad. Here was a 38 year old woman with a new daughter to take care of, and she was suppose to be fighting heart disease. I was so mad that she just gave up and said, "Take me." Later, I realized that she didn't ever give up, that she was put on earth to only live those 38 years and that God gave her the miracle of acceptance of her situation. Her little daughter is now being cared for by the grandparents, and that little girl has brought so much joy into this family who has already lost 2 of their children to death, and is now watching a third child get sick and die.
Anyway, I am obviously opening my cracked heart up today. Forgive me, I am just feeling so sappy over my new drawers and my old (now working) new light. Thank You Lord!!!
Friday, January 28, 2005
Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a....
Yep, I bet you never hear that one, right. Yes, dear Scarlett I am near Acworth. (I Love Acworth.) right down 92 as a matter of fact, to the west. 'Bout 12 miles away. By the way, Cokes are called Dope by old people in Boaz, AL. Thanks for the comments, I loved them! It's really encouraging to know that someone is reading my rants.
So I let the amazing "free money" with CVS deals expire. Oh the Tragedy!! I even dragged my ass back there last Thursday and aimlessly wandered the aisles again, looking for the pot of gold to spend the "free" money on. Speaking of the "Pot of Gold", candy that is. It was almost $9 at CVS. It's only like $6 at WalMart. So even though I despise WalMart's Pharmacy and think it's run by demons from a verrryyy slow hell, I will continue to shop at good old WallyWorld for every thing except for the Pills, they'll come from CVS, where I will continue to get that free money that I can't figure out how to spend.
Oh, so I had ANOTHER job interview. I blew it, I got all purty and went in there expecting to see some guy that I could shake my boobs at. (Nah, not really.) but I did expect it to be only one person. I was met out in the lobby by this really sweet lady and she sat me down in the lounge with a couple of other suckers (potential job candidates) and we had to fill out this questionnaire that said, "How much do you want to make", and had one customer problem that we had to solve.
Sweet lady kept telling me to take my time and if I didn't finish answering the customer problem that I could do it after the interview, so I start writing out a looooonnnggg story about how to resolve this customer problem. Then I was taken back to the back room for the interview. There I was, on the way back, I was sucking up my gut and pushing up those ole' boob, just a getting ready. (The fact that the lady kept referring to He, and Eric, gave me the hint..)
Sweet Lady opens the door and DANGIT!!! There sat 8 PEOPLE!!!! 8 PEOPLE I TELL YOU!! around a u shaped table with a desk and chair in the middle of the room. I bout fell over dead right then and there!
I had just spent and hour and a half reading this stupid document from the internet entitled, "12 Interview questions that you should always know how to answer." If you get that thing off the internet, DON'T READ IT, Throw it away IMMEDIATELY.
I feel like I made good eye contact and that I had good experience for the job, but heck I wasn't expecting all those people!! I think that I blew the interview. I answered most of the questions ok, but I #1 didn't ask for the job like I should have. and #2 had canned answers for all the questions that they were asking. (They evidently also had a copy of that stupid document because guess what questions they asked me.)
I am such an idiot, and IT WAS MY DREAM JOB... Oh well, they are suppose to make a decision today or next week. So I will keep praying.
Since I am in the writing mood, I want to tell you that I just lost, about 20lbs this past 3 weeks. Nope I am not on Extreme Makeover or the Swan show. I went to the Doctor about another condition that I have and he prescribe something (not that I am a big pillhead or anything) to help that. The great side effect is weight loss, and the BAD side effect it that I have a dry mouth and I can't sleep worth a hoot. I like to go to sleep at night and sleep like a total zombie, now I dream these crazy dreams and feel like I wake up every 15 minutes all night, but it is getting a little better and I must be sleeping because I am not sleepy the next day...Maybe my dreams are just scaring me.
My wonderful excellent husband is taking me out tonight. I LOVE HIM SO!!! He wanted to take me to see Mrs. Robinson at the Fox, but I really didn't want to, that whole, messing around on your husband with your daughter's boyfriend scenario just really pisses me off. So, we are going to see a move and go out to eat in Douglasville. I think that just a night out when we aren't screaming at kids, dodging dogs, and trying to study/do housework/cook dinner/pay bills will be such a good time. I am so lucky to have such a great husband. I know that so many people are unhappy in their marriage, but like our preacher says, "Instead of studying all the things wrong about your spouse why don't you concentrate on all the things right about 'em." Our preacher is a really smart guy to be from Arkansas.
Later folks.
So I let the amazing "free money" with CVS deals expire. Oh the Tragedy!! I even dragged my ass back there last Thursday and aimlessly wandered the aisles again, looking for the pot of gold to spend the "free" money on. Speaking of the "Pot of Gold", candy that is. It was almost $9 at CVS. It's only like $6 at WalMart. So even though I despise WalMart's Pharmacy and think it's run by demons from a verrryyy slow hell, I will continue to shop at good old WallyWorld for every thing except for the Pills, they'll come from CVS, where I will continue to get that free money that I can't figure out how to spend.
Oh, so I had ANOTHER job interview. I blew it, I got all purty and went in there expecting to see some guy that I could shake my boobs at. (Nah, not really.) but I did expect it to be only one person. I was met out in the lobby by this really sweet lady and she sat me down in the lounge with a couple of other suckers (potential job candidates) and we had to fill out this questionnaire that said, "How much do you want to make", and had one customer problem that we had to solve.
Sweet lady kept telling me to take my time and if I didn't finish answering the customer problem that I could do it after the interview, so I start writing out a looooonnnggg story about how to resolve this customer problem. Then I was taken back to the back room for the interview. There I was, on the way back, I was sucking up my gut and pushing up those ole' boob, just a getting ready. (The fact that the lady kept referring to He, and Eric, gave me the hint..)
Sweet Lady opens the door and DANGIT!!! There sat 8 PEOPLE!!!! 8 PEOPLE I TELL YOU!! around a u shaped table with a desk and chair in the middle of the room. I bout fell over dead right then and there!
I had just spent and hour and a half reading this stupid document from the internet entitled, "12 Interview questions that you should always know how to answer." If you get that thing off the internet, DON'T READ IT, Throw it away IMMEDIATELY.
I feel like I made good eye contact and that I had good experience for the job, but heck I wasn't expecting all those people!! I think that I blew the interview. I answered most of the questions ok, but I #1 didn't ask for the job like I should have. and #2 had canned answers for all the questions that they were asking. (They evidently also had a copy of that stupid document because guess what questions they asked me.)
I am such an idiot, and IT WAS MY DREAM JOB... Oh well, they are suppose to make a decision today or next week. So I will keep praying.
Since I am in the writing mood, I want to tell you that I just lost, about 20lbs this past 3 weeks. Nope I am not on Extreme Makeover or the Swan show. I went to the Doctor about another condition that I have and he prescribe something (not that I am a big pillhead or anything) to help that. The great side effect is weight loss, and the BAD side effect it that I have a dry mouth and I can't sleep worth a hoot. I like to go to sleep at night and sleep like a total zombie, now I dream these crazy dreams and feel like I wake up every 15 minutes all night, but it is getting a little better and I must be sleeping because I am not sleepy the next day...Maybe my dreams are just scaring me.
My wonderful excellent husband is taking me out tonight. I LOVE HIM SO!!! He wanted to take me to see Mrs. Robinson at the Fox, but I really didn't want to, that whole, messing around on your husband with your daughter's boyfriend scenario just really pisses me off. So, we are going to see a move and go out to eat in Douglasville. I think that just a night out when we aren't screaming at kids, dodging dogs, and trying to study/do housework/cook dinner/pay bills will be such a good time. I am so lucky to have such a great husband. I know that so many people are unhappy in their marriage, but like our preacher says, "Instead of studying all the things wrong about your spouse why don't you concentrate on all the things right about 'em." Our preacher is a really smart guy to be from Arkansas.
Later folks.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Free?? Money from CVS!
Boy am I excited! I went to CVS and used my little savings card when I purchased my prescriptions. I got COUPONS!!! for 9 bucks back!!! But ofcourse as in everything in life, there are rules...
Must redeem before January 29th.
$3 must be spent toward the purchase of CVS products.
$3 must be spent on Candy.
That leaves $3 bucks to spend ANYWAY I want~!!! WAHOO!!
I was so darn excited when the coupons printed out the I walked up and down the aisles for 20 minutes trying to decide how to spend my money. Should I get the big bottle of CVS aspirin and 2 pounds of jawbreakers, or go for the CVS toilet paper and a pound of chocolate??
Oh decisions, decisions!?!?
If you have any idea on how I can spend the coups, I'd like to hear them!
Must redeem before January 29th.
$3 must be spent toward the purchase of CVS products.
$3 must be spent on Candy.
That leaves $3 bucks to spend ANYWAY I want~!!! WAHOO!!
I was so darn excited when the coupons printed out the I walked up and down the aisles for 20 minutes trying to decide how to spend my money. Should I get the big bottle of CVS aspirin and 2 pounds of jawbreakers, or go for the CVS toilet paper and a pound of chocolate??
Oh decisions, decisions!?!?
If you have any idea on how I can spend the coups, I'd like to hear them!
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Cox Suckers!!!!
So yesterday I went to the above mentioned giant conglomerate for an interview. My sharp little young pup headhunter met me out there to introduce me to my potential boss. So me and the Headhunter go in to get an access badge.
Security Officer: Sign here please.
Security Officer: I need to see some form of picture ID please.
Security Officer: Who are you here to see?
Security Officer: What year is your car?
Security Officer" What is the Make and Model of your car?
Why does he need to know this? Is he going out to pee on my tires while I am in the interview, or maybe he's going to steal my AC/DC CD that even I can't get out of the CD Player? Heck I dunno.
So anyway, back to the Cox Sucker story. The security gets all our info and gives us a badge. The SO (Security Officer) then calls the guy that we are suppose to see. The SO gets voicemail and leaves a msg. We wait about 5 minutes and SO calls again. Again, he gets the voicemail, and hangs up. So my HH (headhunter) calls the guys number on his cell phone (Why? I don't know, maybe he thought SO was faking the voicemail thing.) Then my HH calls the HR chick who set up the interview, bingo voicemail again!
Then my HH starts stopping random people who are leaving for lunch. He is asking them if they know Mr. NoShow, while I silently edge away from HH and pretend like I am not with him. Finally the 3rd person that he asks says, "Sure I know him, let me find you someone from his dept." So the guy flags down some poor girl who takes us up to Mr. NoShow's important cubicle by the window. This girl then finds someone who knows Mr. NoShow's cell phone number.
So this new guy calls the butthead on his cellphone. Does this guy answer the cellphone? (The cellphone that Cox is paying for him to have so that he can be available at all times.) HELL NO!! So then the guy radioes the cellphone (Nextel - We love you!) Mr. NoShow answers immediately and says that he is walking into the building. The guy says "Good, you have someone here to see you."
So me and HH go back to the important cubicle by the window and wait. Mr. NoShow walks in with wet slicked down hair and bleary eyed. (It's so obvious the his sorry ass just tumbled out of bed and showered.) It's 11:30 by now, and 30 minutes after our agreed meeting time.
We introduce ourselves, "Hey, how ya doing?" Mr. NoShow says, "You really got me on the spot here, can I speak to you for a moment Mr. Head Hunter?" So they walk away from me about 10 feet and start whispering like 4th grade catholic school girls. A minute later HH comes over, looking like he just swallowed his tie and says, "I am so so sorry, Mr. NoShow just told me that the position was eliminated due to downsizing 2 days ago and that he told this all to the HR chick. She was suppose to call us and tell us that Mr. No Show would not be interviewing you today."
I sweetly bit my tongue and told HH, "Aw don't worry about it, it's not your fault, just some simple miscommunication, no big deal." Me and HH chit chatted for a bit and walked out together while he apologized the whole time. But.....I was so PISSED. I wanted to rip that wet head off Mr. NoShow and shove it up his gay arse!
Although I STILL desperately want to work for Cox, I am beginning to think that you either have to be kin to someone or be sleeping with someone to get a damn job there!!! I don't know which. I have a GREAT resume', everyone tells me so. I have submitted the resume to Cox's website hundreds (I am not lying ATLEAST 300) of times, for positions that I an either qualified for or over qualified for. THEY NEVER RESPOND!! This particular job that I NEARLY interviewed for had been posted for 7 weeks, 7 FREAKING WEEKS!!! I was contacted by 8 headhunter agencies, ALL of them saying that my resume fit this position PERFECTLY!! And they ALL wanted to submit me for the opening.
So I ask you Cox, what the hell am I doing wrong? I am a great fit for your company, and except for the occasional hissy fit, a stable dependable hardworking employee. Come on you chickens!! Call me!! Interview me!!! I double dog dare you!!!
If I have not been so pissed the other day after driving 60 miles round trip during my lunch hour for a non-interview, I would have went out to Mr. NoShow's car and peed on HIS TIRES!!
Ok, I'm done now, the hissy fit is over, back to sending out my resume to people who put out job ads on the interent even though they don't really need to hire anyone.
Have a Great Day!
Security Officer: Sign here please.
Security Officer: I need to see some form of picture ID please.
Security Officer: Who are you here to see?
Security Officer: What year is your car?
Security Officer" What is the Make and Model of your car?
Why does he need to know this? Is he going out to pee on my tires while I am in the interview, or maybe he's going to steal my AC/DC CD that even I can't get out of the CD Player? Heck I dunno.
So anyway, back to the Cox Sucker story. The security gets all our info and gives us a badge. The SO (Security Officer) then calls the guy that we are suppose to see. The SO gets voicemail and leaves a msg. We wait about 5 minutes and SO calls again. Again, he gets the voicemail, and hangs up. So my HH (headhunter) calls the guys number on his cell phone (Why? I don't know, maybe he thought SO was faking the voicemail thing.) Then my HH calls the HR chick who set up the interview, bingo voicemail again!
Then my HH starts stopping random people who are leaving for lunch. He is asking them if they know Mr. NoShow, while I silently edge away from HH and pretend like I am not with him. Finally the 3rd person that he asks says, "Sure I know him, let me find you someone from his dept." So the guy flags down some poor girl who takes us up to Mr. NoShow's important cubicle by the window. This girl then finds someone who knows Mr. NoShow's cell phone number.
So this new guy calls the butthead on his cellphone. Does this guy answer the cellphone? (The cellphone that Cox is paying for him to have so that he can be available at all times.) HELL NO!! So then the guy radioes the cellphone (Nextel - We love you!) Mr. NoShow answers immediately and says that he is walking into the building. The guy says "Good, you have someone here to see you."
So me and HH go back to the important cubicle by the window and wait. Mr. NoShow walks in with wet slicked down hair and bleary eyed. (It's so obvious the his sorry ass just tumbled out of bed and showered.) It's 11:30 by now, and 30 minutes after our agreed meeting time.
We introduce ourselves, "Hey, how ya doing?" Mr. NoShow says, "You really got me on the spot here, can I speak to you for a moment Mr. Head Hunter?" So they walk away from me about 10 feet and start whispering like 4th grade catholic school girls. A minute later HH comes over, looking like he just swallowed his tie and says, "I am so so sorry, Mr. NoShow just told me that the position was eliminated due to downsizing 2 days ago and that he told this all to the HR chick. She was suppose to call us and tell us that Mr. No Show would not be interviewing you today."
I sweetly bit my tongue and told HH, "Aw don't worry about it, it's not your fault, just some simple miscommunication, no big deal." Me and HH chit chatted for a bit and walked out together while he apologized the whole time. But.....I was so PISSED. I wanted to rip that wet head off Mr. NoShow and shove it up his gay arse!
Although I STILL desperately want to work for Cox, I am beginning to think that you either have to be kin to someone or be sleeping with someone to get a damn job there!!! I don't know which. I have a GREAT resume', everyone tells me so. I have submitted the resume to Cox's website hundreds (I am not lying ATLEAST 300) of times, for positions that I an either qualified for or over qualified for. THEY NEVER RESPOND!! This particular job that I NEARLY interviewed for had been posted for 7 weeks, 7 FREAKING WEEKS!!! I was contacted by 8 headhunter agencies, ALL of them saying that my resume fit this position PERFECTLY!! And they ALL wanted to submit me for the opening.
So I ask you Cox, what the hell am I doing wrong? I am a great fit for your company, and except for the occasional hissy fit, a stable dependable hardworking employee. Come on you chickens!! Call me!! Interview me!!! I double dog dare you!!!
If I have not been so pissed the other day after driving 60 miles round trip during my lunch hour for a non-interview, I would have went out to Mr. NoShow's car and peed on HIS TIRES!!
Ok, I'm done now, the hissy fit is over, back to sending out my resume to people who put out job ads on the interent even though they don't really need to hire anyone.
Have a Great Day!
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Southern Dictionary
I am so tired of constantly being corrected on how I speak AND the only people who correct me are...People from up North!!
Folks, if you're gonna live down here in the South, LEARN OUR LANGUAGE!!!!
So for all you misplaced souls here in the south, let me provide you with some phrases and definitions.
I reckon - "I assume"
I swannie - "I can't believe it"
I'm fixin to - "I will get to that task very shortly."
warsher - "Washing Machine"
peench (Long E sound) - "Pinch"
mater - "Tomato"
tater - "Potato"
peecan (Long E sound) "pecan" - the only nut we use for baking.
dinner "Lunch"
supper "Dinner"
farplace - "fireplace"
ain't or taint - "is not" OR "are not"
keyarnine "anything that smells moldey or rotten"
loomnum fol "Aluminum Foil"
cancer stick "cigarette"
wacky backy "marijuana"
chaw "chewing tobacco"
dope "soda"
nekked "naked"
pee bug - "Male Genitals"
tutu - "Female Genitals"
knocked up - "pregnant"
Mondee, Tuesdee Wednesdee etc.. - "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday"
Ya'll "You all"
episode "any illness that you don't want to elaborate on, like the runs or menstrual cramps"
peel "medication prescribed by a doctor or the outter skin of fruits and veggies.
air,our and hour all all pronouned the same. (pronouned as Eer)
So there you are. They're not in any particular order, but just random things that I have to explain to my favorite little Yankee husband on a daily basis. I love it when he gives me hell for the way I speak, I just smile and say, "Where do you live again"?
Folks, if you're gonna live down here in the South, LEARN OUR LANGUAGE!!!!
So for all you misplaced souls here in the south, let me provide you with some phrases and definitions.
I reckon - "I assume"
I swannie - "I can't believe it"
I'm fixin to - "I will get to that task very shortly."
warsher - "Washing Machine"
peench (Long E sound) - "Pinch"
mater - "Tomato"
tater - "Potato"
peecan (Long E sound) "pecan" - the only nut we use for baking.
dinner "Lunch"
supper "Dinner"
farplace - "fireplace"
ain't or taint - "is not" OR "are not"
keyarnine "anything that smells moldey or rotten"
loomnum fol "Aluminum Foil"
cancer stick "cigarette"
wacky backy "marijuana"
chaw "chewing tobacco"
dope "soda"
nekked "naked"
pee bug - "Male Genitals"
tutu - "Female Genitals"
knocked up - "pregnant"
Mondee, Tuesdee Wednesdee etc.. - "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday"
Ya'll "You all"
episode "any illness that you don't want to elaborate on, like the runs or menstrual cramps"
peel "medication prescribed by a doctor or the outter skin of fruits and veggies.
air,our and hour all all pronouned the same. (pronouned as Eer)
So there you are. They're not in any particular order, but just random things that I have to explain to my favorite little Yankee husband on a daily basis. I love it when he gives me hell for the way I speak, I just smile and say, "Where do you live again"?
Monday, January 10, 2005
The Winds They Are A Changing...
So what the hey is going on here? Bad Hair Elvis has not picked up the phone all day!?!? He seems to "NOT BE IN THE SELLING MOOD!!" Has he finally seen the light and realized that there ain't no way in heck that we can ever convince even a comatose patient to buy our products?
I am very concerned, if Elvis is not running to the boss's office every 5 minutes to get his "pat on the head" then the boss may soon take an interest in what I am (or am not) doing.
Speak of the devil here comes the boss. Gotta run!! Damn!
I am very concerned, if Elvis is not running to the boss's office every 5 minutes to get his "pat on the head" then the boss may soon take an interest in what I am (or am not) doing.
Speak of the devil here comes the boss. Gotta run!! Damn!
Friday, January 07, 2005
OK, so I am going STRAIGHT TO HELL for this..
There's a new chick in our office who is intellectually stunted, BIG TIME. She is in her mid 20's but acts like she just crawled out from under a rock----yesterday!!
Ofcourse the stupid boss thinks she hung the moon. Her first order of business when she started was to completely organize and clean the damn kitchen because if it's messy, "it reflects poorly on me". SHE'S THE RECEPTIONIST for crying out loud!!! I found out REAL quick to avoid any conversations with her at all cost. Because she just rattles on, and on... She talks about her husband, her kid, her overweight family. AAAAAHHHHH it never ends.
She also loves to tell you how she's down with the brothers, but keeps mentioning thoese interesting tid bits over and over, so you know that black people really terrify her to no end.. (Um, I have a lot of black friends, There's alot of black people in my neigborhood, in my child's school, at my last job, etc..) Whatever freak!!
Even Bad hair Elvis is bitching about her. He just proved to me that being a good listener is SO MUCH better than being a big talker. He was just now over here bitching about her music tastes (Country Music turned up REAL LOUD) and her views on Jane Fonda (the antichrist), when she walks by and saysmumbles some random comment. I just know that she heard him. So what does he do? He tucks his flaccid little peepee between his legs and runs over to her desk and starts making chit chat to make sure her feelings aren't hurt. (or to see how much she heard, whatever)
Evidently she's so dense that she didn't comprehend what she overheard. I, meanwhile sat here quietly smiling, watching the whole thing.
I got a bit of a backache. I must have pulled something trying to open the 1,ooo lb front door to the building, so another co-worker gave me a Percocet earlier. The one brightspot in this dreary office. Whohoo I am flying now!!
I need to make up names for these crazy people in my office. From the day forward they will be know as the following:
Bad Hair Elvis - The snake new co-worker who thinks he's a selling god, but hasn't sold anything. He looks like a Las Vegas Elvis reject that you'd find in a smoky bar crusing for lonely chicks at 2am in the morning
One Up - The "faggy acting but married to a lady" boss who worships Elvis and loves all the B.S. that Elvis feeds him about imaginary sales he's about to make. One Up has done everything that you have done AND did it first AND better. His belly has been steadily expanding since I started, I am sure that he's probably pregnant.
Junky - My new source for prescription drugs. She's also in sales. Can't sell shit, (Kinda like me) because our products are shit. She is also actively seeking employment elsewhere, but is way better a acting like she gives a damn than I am.
Penelope Pittstop - Our clueless receptionist who is going to change the world starting with the organization of our employee kitchen. She's down with the "brothers", as long as they don't come near her, or talk to her, or look at her. She loves (JUST LOVES) that honky tonk, and plays it on her radio at the front desk so that on the rare occasion that some slob visits our office, they'll know that we are By God, USA loving, Bush Backing, Hellfire and Brimstone Baptists!!
Anyway - back to "work" before my Percocet wears off and my backs makes me cry again.. I am a Big Ole' Baby.
Ofcourse the stupid boss thinks she hung the moon. Her first order of business when she started was to completely organize and clean the damn kitchen because if it's messy, "it reflects poorly on me". SHE'S THE RECEPTIONIST for crying out loud!!! I found out REAL quick to avoid any conversations with her at all cost. Because she just rattles on, and on... She talks about her husband, her kid, her overweight family. AAAAAHHHHH it never ends.
She also loves to tell you how she's down with the brothers, but keeps mentioning thoese interesting tid bits over and over, so you know that black people really terrify her to no end.. (Um, I have a lot of black friends, There's alot of black people in my neigborhood, in my child's school, at my last job, etc..) Whatever freak!!
Even Bad hair Elvis is bitching about her. He just proved to me that being a good listener is SO MUCH better than being a big talker. He was just now over here bitching about her music tastes (Country Music turned up REAL LOUD) and her views on Jane Fonda (the antichrist), when she walks by and saysmumbles some random comment. I just know that she heard him. So what does he do? He tucks his flaccid little peepee between his legs and runs over to her desk and starts making chit chat to make sure her feelings aren't hurt. (or to see how much she heard, whatever)
Evidently she's so dense that she didn't comprehend what she overheard. I, meanwhile sat here quietly smiling, watching the whole thing.
I got a bit of a backache. I must have pulled something trying to open the 1,ooo lb front door to the building, so another co-worker gave me a Percocet earlier. The one brightspot in this dreary office. Whohoo I am flying now!!
I need to make up names for these crazy people in my office. From the day forward they will be know as the following:
Bad Hair Elvis - The snake new co-worker who thinks he's a selling god, but hasn't sold anything. He looks like a Las Vegas Elvis reject that you'd find in a smoky bar crusing for lonely chicks at 2am in the morning
One Up - The "faggy acting but married to a lady" boss who worships Elvis and loves all the B.S. that Elvis feeds him about imaginary sales he's about to make. One Up has done everything that you have done AND did it first AND better. His belly has been steadily expanding since I started, I am sure that he's probably pregnant.
Junky - My new source for prescription drugs. She's also in sales. Can't sell shit, (Kinda like me) because our products are shit. She is also actively seeking employment elsewhere, but is way better a acting like she gives a damn than I am.
Penelope Pittstop - Our clueless receptionist who is going to change the world starting with the organization of our employee kitchen. She's down with the "brothers", as long as they don't come near her, or talk to her, or look at her. She loves (JUST LOVES) that honky tonk, and plays it on her radio at the front desk so that on the rare occasion that some slob visits our office, they'll know that we are By God, USA loving, Bush Backing, Hellfire and Brimstone Baptists!!
Anyway - back to "work" before my Percocet wears off and my backs makes me cry again.. I am a Big Ole' Baby.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
The Job Hunt...going sssslllloooowwwwlllyyy
So the new year is here already. Where are all my prospective employers?? Dead, asleep, still on holiday!?! What is up?
I was interviewing around T-day in November and the next thing I knew the dreaded "holidays" hit. You know that time, it's when everyone is suddenly to busy to come to work, post their open positions on the web, meet and interview people, hire people. Busy Busy Busy People.
So I didn't complain or cry (like I wanted to..) Nope, I just nicely agreed with you all, that yep, things ARE slow during the holidays and it WILL pick up. So here we are folks! 2 working days into the new year, and where are you at people?
Look at my resume, call me, I am the best darn most diligent worker that you'll ever have at your firm. Get on the stick already, before some one snatches me away for the perfect job...
Meanwhile here in hell (my present position) - it's still the same. We are all forced to worship at the temple of the new guy (Elvis hair,earrings) while our customers run away from us, and prospects don't return our calls. Why did I ever agree to take a job in SALES!?!?! What was I smoking?
So if you know of anyone in or around Atlanta that's hiring. Let me know. I am getting desperate.
I know that I am suppose to be grateful for what I got, but trying to sell this crap is like trying to sell Bibles to hookers..
Peaceout People (Always wanted use that one!)
I was interviewing around T-day in November and the next thing I knew the dreaded "holidays" hit. You know that time, it's when everyone is suddenly to busy to come to work, post their open positions on the web, meet and interview people, hire people. Busy Busy Busy People.
So I didn't complain or cry (like I wanted to..) Nope, I just nicely agreed with you all, that yep, things ARE slow during the holidays and it WILL pick up. So here we are folks! 2 working days into the new year, and where are you at people?
Look at my resume, call me, I am the best darn most diligent worker that you'll ever have at your firm. Get on the stick already, before some one snatches me away for the perfect job...
Meanwhile here in hell (my present position) - it's still the same. We are all forced to worship at the temple of the new guy (Elvis hair,earrings) while our customers run away from us, and prospects don't return our calls. Why did I ever agree to take a job in SALES!?!?! What was I smoking?
So if you know of anyone in or around Atlanta that's hiring. Let me know. I am getting desperate.
I know that I am suppose to be grateful for what I got, but trying to sell this crap is like trying to sell Bibles to hookers..
Peaceout People (Always wanted use that one!)
Monday, January 03, 2005
1 Week, 3 parties, house full of relatives, and I'm still standing!
Thank you Lord for giving me the strength, patience and resourcefulness to endure this past week. Thank you also for my wonderful husband, who knows just what I like. Thank you for my children, the ones who showed, the ones who didn't show and the ones who showed but just stayed for a minute or too. I love them all and I am blessed to be their mother.
Thank you Lord for all these things. If 2005 is anything like 2004, bring it on, because I will continue to put all my hopes and trust in you, because I know that you continue will lead me down the right path.
Lastly Lord, thank you for loving me in spite of all my selfishness, and shortcomings.
Thank you Lord for all these things. If 2005 is anything like 2004, bring it on, because I will continue to put all my hopes and trust in you, because I know that you continue will lead me down the right path.
Lastly Lord, thank you for loving me in spite of all my selfishness, and shortcomings.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
God is Great! God is Good!
Got my Christmas shopping done...FINALLY!!!! Boss is out of the office this morning. My amazingly irritating co-worker (earringed Elvis) is whistling Christmas Carols. I swear if I find a room big enough I will choke the crap out of him, and hide his putrid flaccid body in the room. He also has a mean case of flem going from his recent cold. So he is whistling, singing, blowing--the ultimate in digustion...
All my relatives made it into town last night. Yeah, they are lots of fun, and I can't wait to "get the party started".
Cheerio, you grit eaters....
All my relatives made it into town last night. Yeah, they are lots of fun, and I can't wait to "get the party started".
Cheerio, you grit eaters....
Monday, December 20, 2004
Dangit!! It's Monday again!!
Well the honey had to go to his mom's house last Thur to help her move out of it. It's official now, she sold the house, and now she lives with us! Yeah and Boo! Yeah, because she is an OCD housecleaner and great cook, Boo, because she calls me about a million times a day at work to tell me random things like, "You only have 10 boxes of Kleenex and 15 rolls of toilet paper in the house!" or "Hey the church called, and some recording came on, I forgot what it said." ARG!!!
Anyway, my husband was gone for the weekend, which I thought would suck, but incredibly it WAS GREAT!!!! The kids helped with the housework, (I didn't even have to hold a knife to their throats to get them to help!), I got a lot of shopping done, a lot of wrapping done, a little bit of relaxing done.. It was heaven... But he's coming home today, so that's good too.
What else... My arch enemy (enema) the co-worker was out sick for 2.5 days last week. That was also heavenly. No bragging, no lying, no bad hairdos, cheap left earrings... But he's back today, in rare form as usual.
Still looking for a job. Had 2 interviews last week. One was great but the pay was LOW, the other one, they want me to travel EVERY WEEK Sun thru Fri.. Darn, Darn, Darn. Just can't win.
My existing job (hell) STILL HAS NOT MANAGED to put the order that I turned in on Nov 6 into the system. Crapheads!
Anyway, my husband was gone for the weekend, which I thought would suck, but incredibly it WAS GREAT!!!! The kids helped with the housework, (I didn't even have to hold a knife to their throats to get them to help!), I got a lot of shopping done, a lot of wrapping done, a little bit of relaxing done.. It was heaven... But he's coming home today, so that's good too.
What else... My arch enemy (enema) the co-worker was out sick for 2.5 days last week. That was also heavenly. No bragging, no lying, no bad hairdos, cheap left earrings... But he's back today, in rare form as usual.
Still looking for a job. Had 2 interviews last week. One was great but the pay was LOW, the other one, they want me to travel EVERY WEEK Sun thru Fri.. Darn, Darn, Darn. Just can't win.
My existing job (hell) STILL HAS NOT MANAGED to put the order that I turned in on Nov 6 into the system. Crapheads!
Thursday, December 16, 2004
What goes around comes around..
So after bitchin and whining about bad drivers only 2 days ago. It came back to haunt me. I was driving like Helen Keller yesterday. As I spent the day pulling out in front of other cars, running red lights, and avoiding near death car crashes. I realized that I ain't go no room to talk about other people's driving!!
Today is our office Christmas Party. Oh joy, can't wait.. Starts at 1pm at a dark depressing bar. Should be a real swinging time.. It may be cancelled because there's a chemical leak nearby where the bar is. THAT WOULD SO MAKE MY DAY!!!
Anyway I have a job interview today after the party. I pray that I will get this job. I gotta get out of the hellhole that I work at, before I go completely nuts..
I will pray that the Lord either gives me strength or gets me out. You pray for me too, please.
Today is our office Christmas Party. Oh joy, can't wait.. Starts at 1pm at a dark depressing bar. Should be a real swinging time.. It may be cancelled because there's a chemical leak nearby where the bar is. THAT WOULD SO MAKE MY DAY!!!
Anyway I have a job interview today after the party. I pray that I will get this job. I gotta get out of the hellhole that I work at, before I go completely nuts..
I will pray that the Lord either gives me strength or gets me out. You pray for me too, please.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
I ain't a mornin person, fer sure..
So when I was on my way to work this morning, some idiot pulled out in front of me.......again! This will make the 4th near collision that I have nearly had in the past 24 hours. I was meaning to come in and rant and rave about it in this post, but here is it after lunch. And, I have my full daily requirement of caffeine in my body, and now I am calm.
I believe that people drive really bad at the holidays. They drive bad because they are suddenly in a rush. Why I don't know... Heck Christmas has been oming on the same day for the past 2004 years, it ain't like it suddenly snuck up on everybody! I also believe that some of the worst drivers in the entire world reside in Atlanta. I'd like to give a shout out particularly to all the soccer moms located along the 400 corridor.
Whenever I get on 400, I just automatically gun it. I gun it because I know that if I don't then I will be ran over by some old lady in a Hummer doing 90, trying to get Junior to his soccer game on time. She's late to the game because, she had to pick up Daddy's dry cleaning, scream at the nanny, go have her nails done, go to the gym for yoga, then all top of all that she had to have lunch with the girls!! Man, life is SO CHAOTIC when you're rich!
BTW- the speed limit on 400 is 80. That's the minimum speed limit, the maximum limit is determined by however fast you can get your car to go, or the a-hole in front of you driving slow as molasses in the left hand lane.
As a note of interest, my male co-worker who spends 8 full hours a day with his nose up the bosses butt (somebody get me a cross bar please!), is now sporting his Diamonelle earring in his left ear FULL TIME. Soooo attractive with those army issue eyeglasses and that pompadour hairdo, buddy. I bet all the welfare moms want you now!
I believe that people drive really bad at the holidays. They drive bad because they are suddenly in a rush. Why I don't know... Heck Christmas has been oming on the same day for the past 2004 years, it ain't like it suddenly snuck up on everybody! I also believe that some of the worst drivers in the entire world reside in Atlanta. I'd like to give a shout out particularly to all the soccer moms located along the 400 corridor.
Whenever I get on 400, I just automatically gun it. I gun it because I know that if I don't then I will be ran over by some old lady in a Hummer doing 90, trying to get Junior to his soccer game on time. She's late to the game because, she had to pick up Daddy's dry cleaning, scream at the nanny, go have her nails done, go to the gym for yoga, then all top of all that she had to have lunch with the girls!! Man, life is SO CHAOTIC when you're rich!
BTW- the speed limit on 400 is 80. That's the minimum speed limit, the maximum limit is determined by however fast you can get your car to go, or the a-hole in front of you driving slow as molasses in the left hand lane.
As a note of interest, my male co-worker who spends 8 full hours a day with his nose up the bosses butt (somebody get me a cross bar please!), is now sporting his Diamonelle earring in his left ear FULL TIME. Soooo attractive with those army issue eyeglasses and that pompadour hairdo, buddy. I bet all the welfare moms want you now!
Monday, December 13, 2004
Red Neck Weddings or How's Your Mom an Dem
So I was invited to the social event of the season. (I use "The" and "Social Event" very loosely. ) I fixed up (i.e. - hooked up for sex...) 2 people in my neighborhood.
I NEVER meant for the dum dum's to get married!?!?! Ok, so I am a floozy of the most obviously sort. When I found out that a cute single guy was moving into my hood, I trounced my self over there to get a better look. (And to scope him out for my single girlfriends.) He was every bit the hottie that I had heard he was. Bought the nicest 2 story in our hood, on a full basement! He's in the military and never been married! (Can you say, "SECURE PAY, and NO BAGGAGE?!?!)
So he's all good, just needed to pick my most worthiest girlfriend for the hook up, er I mean "fix up"!
So my dumb other neighbor, who is a housewife with a really bad afro, was going thru a divorce. Seems her hubby was leaving her for a much younger, supposedly less clingy piece of A. So my afro neighbor, who never had time to even say hello before, is suddenly knocking on my door, ALL THE TIME! I go to the door, she's got her 3 snot nosed brats with her, and she's bawling and taking on about "That sorry son of a bitch"! Like I want to hear all that..
So anyway, in a weak moment (VERY WEAK), I made the mistake of saying, "Hey I met this guy who just moved in..." Well, honey LET ME TELL YOU!! That's all it took, til the black widow put the web out to catch her man!
Called him on a Sunday, Met him on a Monday, and again on Tuesday, then went out on Wednesday, Friday, Sunday... well, you get the picture!! So anywho, about 3 dates later, she comes up to my door covered in hickeys from boots to chin saying, "I just wanted to thank you for introducing me to (insert name here)!"
And a year later, she getting married. Not that I hate her or anything, but the second he said, "I do." He just got really ugly and married looking. Now, don't get me wrong, I'd never mess around on my Prize, but dang - it sure was nice seeing Mr. Single working in his yard with that shirt off!
Now that he's married to the "fro", she'll be feeding him, and fattening him up. She'll make him wear a shirt all the time, so when we do get a glimpse of the former "hunk of burning love", we'll just be looking at the same old thang that we got a home. Just another chubby, pastey, farmer's tan, married guy.
Damn her, she ruined my eye candy. Oh well, her house will be for sale soon, so if you're single and hot.... she owes me one!!
I NEVER meant for the dum dum's to get married!?!?! Ok, so I am a floozy of the most obviously sort. When I found out that a cute single guy was moving into my hood, I trounced my self over there to get a better look. (And to scope him out for my single girlfriends.) He was every bit the hottie that I had heard he was. Bought the nicest 2 story in our hood, on a full basement! He's in the military and never been married! (Can you say, "SECURE PAY, and NO BAGGAGE?!?!)
So he's all good, just needed to pick my most worthiest girlfriend for the hook up, er I mean "fix up"!
So my dumb other neighbor, who is a housewife with a really bad afro, was going thru a divorce. Seems her hubby was leaving her for a much younger, supposedly less clingy piece of A. So my afro neighbor, who never had time to even say hello before, is suddenly knocking on my door, ALL THE TIME! I go to the door, she's got her 3 snot nosed brats with her, and she's bawling and taking on about "That sorry son of a bitch"! Like I want to hear all that..
So anyway, in a weak moment (VERY WEAK), I made the mistake of saying, "Hey I met this guy who just moved in..." Well, honey LET ME TELL YOU!! That's all it took, til the black widow put the web out to catch her man!
Called him on a Sunday, Met him on a Monday, and again on Tuesday, then went out on Wednesday, Friday, Sunday... well, you get the picture!! So anywho, about 3 dates later, she comes up to my door covered in hickeys from boots to chin saying, "I just wanted to thank you for introducing me to (insert name here)!"
And a year later, she getting married. Not that I hate her or anything, but the second he said, "I do." He just got really ugly and married looking. Now, don't get me wrong, I'd never mess around on my Prize, but dang - it sure was nice seeing Mr. Single working in his yard with that shirt off!
Now that he's married to the "fro", she'll be feeding him, and fattening him up. She'll make him wear a shirt all the time, so when we do get a glimpse of the former "hunk of burning love", we'll just be looking at the same old thang that we got a home. Just another chubby, pastey, farmer's tan, married guy.
Damn her, she ruined my eye candy. Oh well, her house will be for sale soon, so if you're single and hot.... she owes me one!!
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Trailer Parks and Tornadoes
So it's raining today. Not just raining, but BIG TIME raining. with lightning, thunder and tornadoes. I hear that there's been tornadoes in Louisiana and Alabamie both.
So tell me.... why are trailers so popular in the south? There are absolutely everywhere here in the south. I go out west and north on occasion and NEVER EVER see any kinds of trailers. What is up with that?
Here's my trailer park philosophy. Poor people and miserable people buy trailers. They buy trailers and move them to places that are prone to tornadoes. Why? Because they are unhappy and smart. I say that they are unhappy because they buy these ugly boxes to live in and move them to locations that will more than likely be annihilated by a tornado. I say the they are smart because, they know that if they get hurt or killed, that someone in their family will inherit money. I know this because I grew up poor.
When I was growing up, it didn't matter if there was a crumb to eat in the entire house and the lights were being turned off for non-payment. My grandmother always made sure to pay her insurance premiums. She didn't just have insurance on herself, but ALL her kids and other random relatives. She also had Accidental Death and Dismemberment (AD&D)
I always thought that she had all those insurance premiums because she was lonely and just wanted to be able to count on the insurance guy to come see her every month and collect them premiums. (Kind of like an escort service, but without the sex!)
But now, I am sure that she did it because she was smart (Very Smart!). Now my grandmother never lived in a trailer, but one of her kids did. (She had a big ole premium on that one.) Now the AD&D came in handy because all my relatives did really risking things, like shooting guns, drinking and driving, and their own auto-repairs (every hear the story of the engine block falling on uncle Roy, and taking his arm off? Was worth $10,000)
But I digress, back to the Trailer Tribes of the South. Have you ever seen a Trailer Park? They trailers are so close together that when you open your trailer door, it bumps into the trailer in front of it!! Whenever a tornado comes thru a trailer park and wipes out half the population of the park, you can bet your sweet hiney, that those lots will have new (I use the word New very loosely) trailers BACK on them in less than a month.
I remember when I was a teen, I used to think, "I can't wait til I grow up and find me a husband. We will buy us some land, and get us a trailer" I must have been VERY poor or miserable..
So tell me.... why are trailers so popular in the south? There are absolutely everywhere here in the south. I go out west and north on occasion and NEVER EVER see any kinds of trailers. What is up with that?
Here's my trailer park philosophy. Poor people and miserable people buy trailers. They buy trailers and move them to places that are prone to tornadoes. Why? Because they are unhappy and smart. I say that they are unhappy because they buy these ugly boxes to live in and move them to locations that will more than likely be annihilated by a tornado. I say the they are smart because, they know that if they get hurt or killed, that someone in their family will inherit money. I know this because I grew up poor.
When I was growing up, it didn't matter if there was a crumb to eat in the entire house and the lights were being turned off for non-payment. My grandmother always made sure to pay her insurance premiums. She didn't just have insurance on herself, but ALL her kids and other random relatives. She also had Accidental Death and Dismemberment (AD&D)
I always thought that she had all those insurance premiums because she was lonely and just wanted to be able to count on the insurance guy to come see her every month and collect them premiums. (Kind of like an escort service, but without the sex!)
But now, I am sure that she did it because she was smart (Very Smart!). Now my grandmother never lived in a trailer, but one of her kids did. (She had a big ole premium on that one.) Now the AD&D came in handy because all my relatives did really risking things, like shooting guns, drinking and driving, and their own auto-repairs (every hear the story of the engine block falling on uncle Roy, and taking his arm off? Was worth $10,000)
But I digress, back to the Trailer Tribes of the South. Have you ever seen a Trailer Park? They trailers are so close together that when you open your trailer door, it bumps into the trailer in front of it!! Whenever a tornado comes thru a trailer park and wipes out half the population of the park, you can bet your sweet hiney, that those lots will have new (I use the word New very loosely) trailers BACK on them in less than a month.
I remember when I was a teen, I used to think, "I can't wait til I grow up and find me a husband. We will buy us some land, and get us a trailer" I must have been VERY poor or miserable..
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Frank-ly my Dear..
So Frank, it seems that you are my lone ranger. Finally someone acknowledges me. Thank you for the response... I'd blog more if I could figure out how to find my blog quickerly (quicker and quickly - yep, it's really a word.)
So let's talk about them thar New Yorkers!! OK, so I slipped up and married me one. Not just any old northern boy, but a bona-fide, born and raised in Flushing, New Yorker!!
My poor honey is just like a tourist here in the south, even though he's been here for about 10 years now. Every day things, that I take for granted, seem to either fascinate or terrify him.
Take our yard for instance, it's less than an acre of weeds, and trees. In my opinion, we should just get us a goat, and forget about mowing. But our yard is his pride and joy!! He spent more than $1,000 to buy a "yard tractor" with a trailer attached. (Boy - that lawnmower salesman must've seen him coming from a mile away!) Then he NEVER mows the yard, or even allows me to use the "yard tractor" to mow either. He makes me use the neighbor's push mower, because our 2 push mowers don't work, and he afraid that the "yard tractor" will overpower me. (And what! try to mow the neighbor's yard, or make out with our cars?!?!) He is also so proud of our little acre. He tells me all the time, how he always wanted acreage. (haha!-acreage?!?)
Animals - Another NY oddity. He is terrified of possums, cows, horses, snakes and bumblebees. He freaks out every time a bee gets within 3 yards of him! He flaps his arms all over the place like he is having a grand mal seizure.
Possums are another source of husband entertainment. We had one that loved to hang out on our porch and eat cat food every night. One night, my husband decided to take back the porch! So my husband waited in the dark for the possum to appear, and when the little critter strolled up for his evening meal, my husband jumps out of the shadows and screams like a banshee, while waving a kitchen broom over his head. That poor possum damn near had a heart attack right on the spot!! Once little possum, regained his wits, my husband starts poking him with the broom handle. NEVER POKE A POSSUM!! That possum was sooo pissed off, he starts ambling toward Mr. Poker, snarling and spitting with his hackles raised.
Finally my husband, drops the broom and runs for dear life back into the house. (I wish I'd been quicker, I would have locked the door, and left him out there with that possessed possum) Once the husband got back into the house, (and interestingly enough, locked the door, so the possum wouldn't open the door and try to get him) he asked me why that possum got so mad. All I said was, "I dunno, rabies?"
Anyway, I love that man and he makes me laugh so much with his crazy ways. I just hope that some time during our lives together that he'll quit talking so fast and learn to love grits..
So let's talk about them thar New Yorkers!! OK, so I slipped up and married me one. Not just any old northern boy, but a bona-fide, born and raised in Flushing, New Yorker!!
My poor honey is just like a tourist here in the south, even though he's been here for about 10 years now. Every day things, that I take for granted, seem to either fascinate or terrify him.
Take our yard for instance, it's less than an acre of weeds, and trees. In my opinion, we should just get us a goat, and forget about mowing. But our yard is his pride and joy!! He spent more than $1,000 to buy a "yard tractor" with a trailer attached. (Boy - that lawnmower salesman must've seen him coming from a mile away!) Then he NEVER mows the yard, or even allows me to use the "yard tractor" to mow either. He makes me use the neighbor's push mower, because our 2 push mowers don't work, and he afraid that the "yard tractor" will overpower me. (And what! try to mow the neighbor's yard, or make out with our cars?!?!) He is also so proud of our little acre. He tells me all the time, how he always wanted acreage. (haha!-acreage?!?)
Animals - Another NY oddity. He is terrified of possums, cows, horses, snakes and bumblebees. He freaks out every time a bee gets within 3 yards of him! He flaps his arms all over the place like he is having a grand mal seizure.
Possums are another source of husband entertainment. We had one that loved to hang out on our porch and eat cat food every night. One night, my husband decided to take back the porch! So my husband waited in the dark for the possum to appear, and when the little critter strolled up for his evening meal, my husband jumps out of the shadows and screams like a banshee, while waving a kitchen broom over his head. That poor possum damn near had a heart attack right on the spot!! Once little possum, regained his wits, my husband starts poking him with the broom handle. NEVER POKE A POSSUM!! That possum was sooo pissed off, he starts ambling toward Mr. Poker, snarling and spitting with his hackles raised.
Finally my husband, drops the broom and runs for dear life back into the house. (I wish I'd been quicker, I would have locked the door, and left him out there with that possessed possum) Once the husband got back into the house, (and interestingly enough, locked the door, so the possum wouldn't open the door and try to get him) he asked me why that possum got so mad. All I said was, "I dunno, rabies?"
Anyway, I love that man and he makes me laugh so much with his crazy ways. I just hope that some time during our lives together that he'll quit talking so fast and learn to love grits..
Monday, December 06, 2004
What happened to the end of November
Mercy! I just turned around and November was gone. So how was my Thanksgiving you ask? Well let me tell you... I did cook everything but the meat and dressing ahead of time. Still worked my hiney off to get that done. Planned to eat at 2, ate at 4 instead. (This is a good time, considering my honey was in charge of the turkey, and slept late.)So it was a pretty good day except for 1 little thing....
As you may know (or not know) my poor little niece lives with me. She is 14 and has had the worst life ever. She had called her dad (Idiot, Lazy, Useless) who is my younger brother, 2 weeks before T-day to make sure to invite him to Thanksgiving. He said that he would be there, no problem. She called him again couple of times during the week, TO MAKE SURE HE WAS COMING.. She then called him again at 11am on Thanksgiving Day, just to MAKE SURE ONCE AGAIN THAT HE WOULD BE THERE!!!
And do you think that the little bastard showed up!?!? HELL NO!! Not only did he not bother to show up, (Even after she had told him how much it would mean to her that he come, and about all the stuff she was cooking for him on this day!) but he also wouldn't answer the calls that she placed EVERY 30 MINUTES to his cell phone when he didn't show up. So about 7pm, I was totally fed up with her sad face, and everyone else asking her, "Where's your Daddy, Thought he was coming." So I called all the numbers he gave me and cussed him out on every answering machine that would pick up.
I left him a vile message at his work. (Which my Dad heard, and let everyone there also hear!) and also left him a scathing message on his cellphone.
Low and Behold! Dear little Daddy called back within 5 (Yep, you heard it right!) minutes after receiving my voicemail, to say he was on his way. Ok, so this is a 100 mile trip from his house to mine. How long do you think it took his dumbass to get to my house after calling? 4 HOURS!!!! He must have went thru China for all I know.
His excuse?!? He told my niece/his kid that he had been sick for 2 weeks, and that was why he was late. (Huh?) 2 weeks, and you never mentioned it before now?
So MEN OF THE WORLD, I have to ask. Why are most of you such crappy fathers/boyfriends/husband's?!? Please tell me, I'd really like to know!! Sometimes I am such a MAN-HATER.
Nothing else much happened. I hate to be such a SUPER-BITCH, but I really hate to see people I love in pain, especially when the person causing the pain is also someone I love. (or used to until Thursday anyway..)
Also for all you guys out there, let this be a lesson. DON'T EVER MESS WITH A MOMMY. We'd just a soon kill your ass, than to let you hurt children.
Have a great week, maybe I will be more proactive in my updates! Ciao'
As you may know (or not know) my poor little niece lives with me. She is 14 and has had the worst life ever. She had called her dad (Idiot, Lazy, Useless) who is my younger brother, 2 weeks before T-day to make sure to invite him to Thanksgiving. He said that he would be there, no problem. She called him again couple of times during the week, TO MAKE SURE HE WAS COMING.. She then called him again at 11am on Thanksgiving Day, just to MAKE SURE ONCE AGAIN THAT HE WOULD BE THERE!!!
And do you think that the little bastard showed up!?!? HELL NO!! Not only did he not bother to show up, (Even after she had told him how much it would mean to her that he come, and about all the stuff she was cooking for him on this day!) but he also wouldn't answer the calls that she placed EVERY 30 MINUTES to his cell phone when he didn't show up. So about 7pm, I was totally fed up with her sad face, and everyone else asking her, "Where's your Daddy, Thought he was coming." So I called all the numbers he gave me and cussed him out on every answering machine that would pick up.
I left him a vile message at his work. (Which my Dad heard, and let everyone there also hear!) and also left him a scathing message on his cellphone.
Low and Behold! Dear little Daddy called back within 5 (Yep, you heard it right!) minutes after receiving my voicemail, to say he was on his way. Ok, so this is a 100 mile trip from his house to mine. How long do you think it took his dumbass to get to my house after calling? 4 HOURS!!!! He must have went thru China for all I know.
His excuse?!? He told my niece/his kid that he had been sick for 2 weeks, and that was why he was late. (Huh?) 2 weeks, and you never mentioned it before now?
So MEN OF THE WORLD, I have to ask. Why are most of you such crappy fathers/boyfriends/husband's?!? Please tell me, I'd really like to know!! Sometimes I am such a MAN-HATER.
Nothing else much happened. I hate to be such a SUPER-BITCH, but I really hate to see people I love in pain, especially when the person causing the pain is also someone I love. (or used to until Thursday anyway..)
Also for all you guys out there, let this be a lesson. DON'T EVER MESS WITH A MOMMY. We'd just a soon kill your ass, than to let you hurt children.
Have a great week, maybe I will be more proactive in my updates! Ciao'
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