Monday, November 03, 2008

I am bound for the firey pits of hell...fer sure.

Yesterday I took the Mother In Law out...aka the Troll, to go return items at Linen's and Things. You know Linens and Things are going out of business right? Well all OVER every inch of their store are signs posted saying, "We ABSOLUTLEY will not take ANY returns EVA!! You try to return an item and you will be shot." or something to that effect. So what is the MIL's grand plan? To return a set of sheets that she slept on (Once! I swear by God) and DRYCLEANED!! (Who the hell drycleans sheets beside Donald Trump?)

This time, since she knew she was TOTALLY pushing the envelop, she decides to incorporate me into her evil scheme of helping L&T go bankrupt a little quicker. So she strolls up with her sheets, sans original packaging but STILL in the dryclean bag, and produces a receipt from JUNE! (She called me in a hot panic Sunday saying she MUST go to L&T NOW!!!) flopped the sheets AND a bedpad out of the bag and starts demanding her money back on both. Her receipt was a receipt issued on a previous return that she returned to trade out for this latest sheet set. Original item (hmm yea sheets) returned was $100, next set of sheets was $42, drycleaning charge was $46, and tried to get these people to PAY for the sheets, the pad (no receipt on that one, Crazy Lady!) AND THE DRYCLEANING BILL!!!!

So after the 2 pimply face teens manning the register, stopped howling with laughter, they gave her $42 bucks back on a gift card for the sheets. MIL then preceded to get all teary eyed about how she paid $46 for the drycleaning.. I was like, "Come on, let's get the heck outta here before they change their minds about the card!!"

Then I took her to the ShoeStore, then Wal-Mart.... During these random trips we both realized that she had not reset her watch to the new time..and that I had not reset the dashboard clock either...BUT sometime during our time out she forgot that the clocks were not reset, and gets in a panic to go home because dinner is being served at 5:30, and she doesn't want to miss it (She lives in a retirement home, they got schedules, people..) so she's all in a hot panic to get back home.'

So I do remind her that, "Hey the clocks are wrong, remember?"

What do you think?

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