Monday, November 29, 2004

Holiday Time in NYC

So I am setting aroung the tube Sun afternoon, relaxing because ALL the brats and mom-in-law were GONE! Nope, I didn't kill 'em and hide the bodies in the cellar. It just so happened that every last one of them had a plan. The best 5 hours that I've spent in a while!!

Well, I actually cleaned house and did laundry for 3 of the WONDERFUL hours, but anywho.. I was lazing around the TV, when all of a sudden the Christmas tree (THE WONDROUS TREE) of Rockefeller Center(NYC) flashed across the TV during some sappy Lifetime show. I actually got to see the lighting of the Tree at Rockefeller back in 2000 with my VERY southern (and hot) sister-in-laws. I was single back then, and we had the BEST TIME. They both are the epitome of Southern Belles. (Blonde, Slim, and a Southern Drawl that lasts for days.) Anyway, we all spent the week, just shopping, and walking around Broadway and loving every minute of good old NYC.

My sister-in-laws are so friendly and chatty, they met people every where they went. (All the NYC guys were absolutely falling at their feet, it was so much fun!)

I just love NYC, I'd live right in the heart of Manhatten if I could, I'd never drive a car again!! I'd live on the 4th story of a old brownstone walk up if I could.

Ofcourse I hear NYC is so much MORE GLAMOROUS if you don't actually live there. Never hurts to dream a little, does it?

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

The Trees and Thanksgiving

So on I-20 into work this morning, I happened to glance over to the trees. SPECTACULAR!!! Crimson, Yellow, Orange. I was in the ATL and but it seemed that I was driving thru a scene from a greeting card.

Ok so on to Thanksgiving - I already cooked, haha to you all. Ofcourse I made my little slaves help me in the kitchen. Already in the Fridge for tomorrow--Squash Casserole, Green Bean Caserole, Potatoe Souffle, Cranberry Relish, Pecan, Pie, Lemon Pie, Pumpkin Pie, Cheesecake, Caramel Cake.

Only thing to make tomorrow is: Dressing (Doing the Stove TOP per my hubbies request!) Rolls (Frozen) and Gravy. The teen is in charge of making her famous Iced Tea and Deviled Eggs. (Everyone fights over those eggs!) And Hubby has Ham and Turkey Duty. Yippie Yippie!! So tomorrow will be fun and most importantly RELAXING!! (Am I domestic GODDESS or what!?!)

Neighbor and Friends are coming over to eat and visit, so we are thankful for that. Just need to round up some chairs and tables....

I wonder if my grownup kids will show. I love my daughter to death, but she has a responsibility to be at her dad's, and I hate to have her feel obligated to be at my house. Then there's my son, he usually shows up around the holidays and his birthday to start "greasing the money makers" for future gifts. So it's a wait and see with those 2.

Being a Mom to grown ups is so wierd. Maybe I should have waited until I was ACTUALLY old enough to have kids..

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

I wish I was

I wish I was one of them singers that you see on the Gospel Shows, late at night. You know the one. She's the chick that clutches the microphone and a hankerchief in one hand, while she is swording fighting heaven with her other hand. She's so loud and so good that she doesn't even really need the microphone. All during the song, she's jumping about and wailing "Amens!" all over the place. It's like the song is being pulled out of her body by force. I call that the "Come to Jesus Singer".

I would give almost anything to be that singer. I'd be in the front of church every Sunday belting one out! I hear that in the bible is says, "Make a joyful noise unto the Lord".

I try to, but every time I open my mouth, it sounds like a kitten is being tortured.

Wonder what my talent is?

Friday, November 19, 2004


I am sooo glad that Friday's is here. Joan of Arcadia at 8, baby!! I have only one Mommy moment planned for the entire weekend, then it's off to the joys of laundry and housework. Oh damn, I forgot I do have to shop for Thanksgiving Dinner. Still I am glad it's Friday, even if my life sucks.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

What the heck!?!?!

Ok, so I skipped out on the Blog yesterday.. No, I am not having an affair with another Blog, just got busy... Today is National Overuse...Your...Periods...In...Sentences...Day... I've created this day myself.. And proclaim myself as Queen for the rest of this holiday...

I HAVE got to find a new job. I am at 85% of quota, and the only person in the office with anything, ANYTHING I TELL YOU!!! on the board for the month. But what does my boss do?? Pull me into his office and says, "Is there any problems that may be affecting your job? Is there something that I should be worried about?" "You just haven't been on top of your game for the past 2 weeks."

What I really wanted to say was, "Well, I have 3 kids, a husband, 2 dogs, 2 cats and a mother-in-law at home. All of which need to be fed, entertained, cleaned up after, took to the doctor/dentist/you name it and hauled to church, dance, piano lessons, and work.

Also, I am not sure if you heard but my father-in-law died about 2 weeks ago and now I have to deal with my husband's and mother-in-laws grief from that.

In addition, I am going thru menopause, do you know what MENOPAUSE is buddy?!?

And I think that I am coming down with some new form of the damn plague, my body hurts, my head is aching, I have a fever and my damn nose is pouring out snot like the Mississippi.

But instead I just sweetly wiped my drippy nose on my sweat soaked sleeve and said, "No, why would you say that?"

I evidently forgot to fill out a column on one of the 5 friggin reports that I have to send in every week. OH KILL ME, BURN ME AT THE STAKE!!!!!

Give me break.. I really should start back drinking, you know. People were a lot easier to deal with when I was in a vodka induced fog.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Oh the Insanity!!! and Mominlaw

OK, so yesterday was a bad rant on the co-worker. I take it all back. It's just me, not him.

So I was late for work this morning. Luckliy so was the boss. When I got in, he was standing at someone's cube shooting the breeze, holding his briefcase. Yesterday I beat him into the ofc by a full hour. I am such a slacker. I couldn't leave this house this morning until I heard a full report of all the body aches and pains that my mother-in-law was having.

Mominlaw is living with us now. It'll be a week this week. I feel sorry for her, her husband of 40 something years died on 11/6. She is completely lost without him. At the age of 73, she has NEVER been in charge of her own life. She went straight from her father's house into marriage. Sp she has spent her entire life waiting hand and foot on others.

A little bit about Mominlaw. She is Arabic. (I'm Southern, hubbie's from NewYork. It's an interesting house we have.) She was born in Jordan, rasied in Lebanon. She is one of 11 children, only 3 of them girls. Now, in the middle eastern culture, women are "More priceless than Rubies" but they also spend their entire catering to the men in their family. (Scrubbing, cooking, cleaning, having babies, etc..) Mominlaw's own mother died when she was 18 yrs old. Mominlaw was the 4th of all the children (I believe), and her youngest brother was only 7 yrs old. So Mominlaw immediately became the "Lady of the house". This was in the 1950's.

Shortly after the death of the Mother, Mominlaw and the family moved to New York City. All the oldfer brother's set about finding fabulous jobs and beautiful wives, while Mominlaw quietly raised the younger children, scrubbed the floors, cooks the meals, and did the laundry.

Mominlaws big act of rebellion was going out to get a job at the Loew's Movie Theatre when she was 26 years old. Mominlaw worked in the theatre as a cashier/ticket-taker.

She told me that after working their for some time, that she met a handsome English man in a coffee shop once day when she was on her break from Loew's. Well, this handsome young man found out where she worked, and followed her back to the theatre. 3 Months later he became her husband.

At this time, she was close to 30, all the younger kids were raised, and the most of the brother's had by then found wives. So at that time, they had no more use for Mominlaw's services by then. This all occurred after the brothers had turned down 3 marriage proposals that were offered up to Mominlaw. (Evidently back during this time, Arabic men saw the woman, determined that they liked her, then made an offer of marriage to the men in the house. Oh the romance of it all!) The brothers had turned down previous suitors for the following reasons, "Too tall, not rich enough, and I can't even recall the other lame reason."

Anyway, I am telling you the Mominlaw story to let you know how respressed and lost this poor woman is. She speaks Arabic, English, French, Italian and Hebrew fluently. She is 73 yrs old, and still sharp as a tack. She is brilliant!! She has spent her entire lift waiting on others, and now at the age of 73, she finally can focus on herself. I'd love to see her just fly the coop!! Have a little fun, travel, blow her inheritance....but so far nothing.

Time will tell, I suppose. I hope, I hope for her.

Monday, November 15, 2004

The CoWorker from Heck

Ok, so then there's the new guy who sits next to me.. He tries to make like he's "The Over Achieving Young Hip Salesman of the Year". Let me tell you the poor guy drives a car to work that looks like he stole it from a crack-addicted welfare mom. (Big, old, dirty, dented and got "My child is a honor roll student at (insert school here)" bumper sticker.

This guy has the gray Elvis bouffant hair going, and wears a wife-beater under his thin little cotton dress shirts. In addition, he has his ear pierced 2 times on the left side, and once on the right. (Thankfully he doesn't sport the earrings here at the office.) He just looks nasty!

He also makes a point of talking as loudly as possible when conducting business on the phone, even standing up in his cube, so his voice projects loud and clear. Yep, I really need 8 hours of day of you screaming in my ear from your cube-hole across the way here, buddy!! Also the guy brags on and on about his sales prowness. I, ofcourse, oblige the fool by appearing to be in utter awe and adoration of his "vast knowledge of sales', while silently shooting eye darts into his heart.

Oops, I just heard him pass gas at his desk while on the phone, yuk,yuk, yuk. n-a-s-t-y b-o-y.

Anywho back to me ranting about "Larry the Sales Lizard", he just constantly brags about EVERYTHING!!!! His past sales, his future sales, his clothes, his motorcycle (which I found out he doesn't even own!) his contacts (his favorite thing to brag about.). A word about his contact list, I can pull any name out of my hiney, and he will say, "I know them!" Plu-eeze, give me a break.

OK, so I am not a sales person, but I have had the opportunity to work with the heavy hitters in my time, and this poor guy just ain't it..

Look, I know that I sound like a total be-atch raving about this guy, but jeepers what a creep he is. Atleast he is so busy buttlicking the boss all day, that he keeps the boss busy patting him on the head, instead of bitching at me.

Hey wait a minute!?!? I should be GRATEFUL!! So here's a Budweiser for you, Larry the Sales Lizard!!! You make the day a little more interesting!

Seriously, my profile says that I am trying to be Christian, but I am far from perfect and do have my rants. I am sure that when I die, God will open my Blog, go over all the trash I wrote, then ask for an explanation. I will have ALOT of explaining to do!

Anyway Church is not a Hotel for Saints, but a Hospital for Sinners! Can I get a AMEN?!?!?

It's me, It's me

Soooo,,,,, hhhheeeerrreee I am! A BLOG, A BLOG, a wonderful blog, everyone thinks it's slinky!! Ha ha not funny I know. So here I sat all broken work. I am in Sales, got no prospects, can't cold call, hate what I sell, wondering when the boss will see right though me and show me the door. Til he does, I will sit here at my little desk, in a dumpy office, hidden in the darkest hood in Atlanta, and type my little heart out here in my BRAND NEW BLOG!!! Yippie Yippie, pass the liquor!!