Monday, July 30, 2007

Alaska Cruising....

And for your your viewing pleasure....

Things I saw in Alaska!

Yea, there's a whale in this picture. See him? No? That's because he's UNDERWATER! Duh!

Things we were told we'd see on the $110 Whale Watching Excursion...

Things that the tour guide on the $110 Whale Watching Excursion saw other times when he was doing the $110 Whale Watching Excursion ... guessed it Whales.

All in all, it was a wonderful trip! I'd live in Alaska in a heartbeat, if only I could figure out how to dress.. (One day it's tropical hot, the next day it's freezing ass cold!)

However I will warn you, Alaska cruises are geared toward old people. So if you decide to take one, better bring your own entertainment!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Where ya been Southern Chickie?

I have been on a cruise to Alaska.. So when I get back to work and find that I have 972 emails to weed thru, do I get right to work?

um NO!!

I check the blogs! I will post more details at a later time. It was a VERY INTERESTING TRIP!

Til then....

Monday, July 09, 2007

LIFE LESSON # 534,698

I have learned an important life lesson, the hard way, this past weekend.

Never talk to children when you’ve been drinking.

So Thursday night, I stumbled over to the neighbor’s house to retrieve my lovely princess from their pool. (Heck it was 10pm and a weeknight!) and found that ALL the little girls from the hood were swimming over there. As I am telling the kid to get her arse outta the pool and ‘come on’ she begins what is known as the bargaining technique..

The bargaining technique is used whenever a child wants something and is not within smacking distance….

Here’s how our little angel uses it:


Me: Come on darling, it’s late and I have to get up at 4:30 in the morning. I just want to know that you are safe and in the house before I go to sleep. (And to myself, “And plus, I’m wearing a ratty old night gown, that’s totally see thru and no bra, therefore let’s get the heck out of dodge before the neighbor’s husband walks out.”)


Me: (To myself, “Oh crap, here he comes!! Hide Boobies! Don’”) Come on darling! If you get out of the pool now (Right freaking now!) I’ll let you have a spend the night tomorrow.

A: Mu-wah wah!! Can ALL the girls come over?

Me: Ofcourse, now let’s run home. (To myself: RUN!!! Get your crap and MOVE IT!)

So guess who calls me at work the next day?

A: So we’ll be having 4 girls beside me, over tonight (Mu-wah wah!) Let’s order Pizza!!!


Yep, 5 ten and eleven year old girls camped out at MY house, in the living room. Giggling, gossiping, singing, dancing, eating pizza, drinking all my sodas, pouting, PMSing till 7am the next day..

I have quit drinking.

Friday, July 06, 2007

4th of July..What no Rednecks!?!?!

So we went down to Lennox for the 4th of July. For those of you not in the know..It's in Buckhead, which is still Atlanta, only it's 'uptown Atlanta'.
Got a GREAT deal on a room! (Thanks to my homegurl K!) and spent the afternoon with the family, the neighbors, and another couple, sitting by the pool, watching the kids (7) argue, try to race eachother, outdive eachother, kill eachother, whine about being bored, and play. Our room was right next to the pool, so guess who got to sleep in 7 wet spots? (Thanks to 7 wet kids watching cartoons in our room!) Because, hey that's why we rented a room downtown, so you kids could sit inside and watch cartoons!
Actually the kids were pretty good, however I did have to have a little "Come to Jesus" meeting with my own spawn.. She's usually sweet, but her patience was sorely tested yesterday being around 6 (other) wild children all day.
The fireworks were good, but a little short due to the drought. We didn't have any of the drama that we'd had in previous years due to mixing alcohol and red necks. Dang it.

I also had a Dr's appt with the hunney on Thurs. They took us in together, which was kind of creepy. Which means that I totally didn't get the complimentary breast exam I so look forward to each visit. (I'm kidding, hunney...or am I?)

So anyway, I beg and take on, act pathetic, and plead, but only get 2 freaking prescriptions, meanwhile HE walks out with like 8. What is up with that! No Fair... I am much more sicker that he is. I even had a fever for Heaven's Sakes!!! Stupid Doctor.
So today, it's back at work for 1 whole day, and I am totally dying. I am sure that I was born to lie back in a reclining position, eating bons-bons, and watching soaps all day........

Monday, July 02, 2007

Weekend Update...

Ok, this is for the men out there…..

It’s definitely NOT ok to pass gas on public transportation.

Now on to other topics:

I had a nice weekend. It was pretty relaxing, which hardly ever happens!

Friday night – Tried to watch The Messengers, couldn’t, too scary, and it was dark out. (I got more phobias that Howard Hughes!)

Saturday, took the MIL shopping. Of course she brought along a 2 pairs of pants that she had bought somewhere at Christmas and wanted to return. She had no idea where she got them from, so she wanted to visit EVERY fricking store in the mall to find out. (She never found out.) We had a nice lunch (ok, I am lying, we went to IHOP) at 11am, because she was STARVING when I picked her up.

Didn’t talk about her bowel movements, so that was good. She only complained about:

1. The sharp pain in her arm.
2. The sharp pain in her side.
3. Excruciating Heartburn
4. Arthritis

So, she is obviously having a slow month, due to her excitement of going with us on a cruise next week. Ahhhh the romance of it all.. Just me, my hunney, MIL, and the kid, oh vey and the niece and her vegan Orthodox Jewish cousin.

I can’t wait to see what this poor girls eats……. if anything.

Anywho, the Mil insisted on buying me 2 tops while at the mall, because I am having birthday in a month and a half and HELLO! who am I to argue with a smart woman?

After the mall, I dropped Mil off at the old folks home, and took a nice hot bath in anticipation of dinner out with friends. (My dirty little habit...the ‘friends’ are internet posters from my county's website!) Met a lot of people I know on line, and had a nice meal. Of course I had to hold a gun to my husband’s head before we left, but as usual, he got into the evening, was charming and pleasant, so we had a nice time.

Sunday, I rode my bike on the trail for 7 miles. The darn bike has flat tires, and I was afraid to inflate them too much, so I basically rode my bike for 3.5 miles, and rested, walked, ran out of water, and dragged the damn bike for 3.5 miles.

Got home, and co-erced the poor clueless hunney into helping me with the grocery shopping. Kipnapped him to help me do the 3 min wash on the car, so now it’s cleaner inside and out. (Not immaculate mind you, just $3 dollar cleaner!)

Went to Sam’s, watched him freak out when he recognized people from his school. (OMG! OMG!! That’s the kid from …….where do I know that kid from?)

Then hit up Wally World, cause it you can't find it at Wally World, you don't really need it!

Came home. Had a visit from the 19 yr old boy, and watched The Messengers with him and the 10 yr old, in the middle of the day, with the blinds cracked, so the monsters wouldn’t get me! (I am a puss!)

So that’s my boring weekend in a nutshell…

Now it’s Monday… All I got to say is THANK YOU JESUS for the 4th of July!

Per the older son, Grandchild's new word is, "Hello, Hello, Hello" and she uses it CONSTANTLY.