Dear People in Charge of the New and Improved Phone Company,
Have I not been a good employee? Do I not rush out the door every morning at 5:30, just so I can crawl on a bus for an hour, then take the Marta train for another 20 mins with half a million of my homeys, so that I can be at work bright eyed and bushy tailed every morning?
Now, I knew that you were not one to throw around money when I came to work here, and quickly realized that the policy for ordering office supplies consisted of stealing pens, paper and staples from co-workers desk or waiting until someone quit to go through their desk drawers for fresh office supplies.
And what about the air conditioning/heating situation? It's true, our offices are beautiful works of amazing architecture from the outside, but you People in Charge of the New and Improved Phone Company, are one smart cookie! You, being the eco-conscious group that you are, turn the air off everyday at 6pm. Great idea! Unless you have to work over, or come in early. Not that I am complaining or anything… but by the time I get to my desk from the lobby, I have sweated a gallon all over my outfit of the day.
Good thing I keep a little DO for the BO in my desk drawer! We also appreciate the way that you have remembered how Jimmy Carter sought to balance the budget back in 1976, by having all of America set their thermostats to 78 in the summer and 68 in the winter. Thanks the beautiful floor to ceiling windows that make up the outer walls of our office paradise, that 78 degrees usually lingers around 92 degrees during the day all summer long. It's like being at the beach! But without the sand, and water, and cute bikinis, and beer…..
But I digress.. I just wanted to say THANK YOU for removing the free coffee that we have enjoyed these past years and replacing it with a new computerized machine that charges us .50 cents per cup for this amazing brew. And THANK YOU, for providing NO INSTRUCTIONS on how to use this amazing new invention. That's probably the best part of this whole change. Can you imagine the sense of accomplishment we'll all feel when we figure out where to stick our quarters so that a delicious brown bubbling brew will fill our eager outstretched foam receptacles of morning hope?
I can't wait to see the next batch of improvements!!