So rarely do I take a lunch alone. But Monday I did. Stopped off and bought a good book to read and sat my butt down at Stevie B to eat Pizza tops (I'm on a carb diet, don't cha know.) So there I was, when all of a sudden, I see this guy 2 tables over jump up and start peeling off his shirt while shouting obscenities at someone else at another table.
Not sure who it was aimed out, cause I immediately stuck my nose deep into my book while trying to look, not look.. So anyway Johnny Gangbanger was all cussing and flexing and cussing, while the entire place was staring intently at their plates desperately trying not to make eye contact.
I noticed while this was going on, the his pants wear AROUND HIS KNEES!! He had a nice round ass BTW. (I'm just saying..) then he shouted a gem that said it all, "Hey MF-er, I got felony convictions against me, I ain't skeered of you!" ...mmmm...Klassy. Yea, I'm totally going to use THAT one next time I get mad at someone.
So after a while of getting no response or acknowledgement of anyone in the restaurant, the girl at the table with Johnny GB, says, "Please leave, just leave." Boyfriend pulls on his shirt, and walks out.
So what do you think the girl did next?
Leave out the back? Cry? Call the cops?
She went back and herself another plate of pizza. While everybody else nervously sat around waiting on Johnny GB to come back in and blow our asses away with a 9mm. So I crammed another pizza top in my gullet and got the H out of there, and who should I see standing in the parking lot with arms crossed, leaning up against a car (3 cars away from mine!!!) and glaring into Stevie B's but,,,,yep you guessed it,,, Crazy A. Johnny GangBanger!!! Oh joy! He's gonna kill me in the damn parking lot.
So I walked to the far end of the parking lot and snuck up to my car and got in, just as another guy from the place approached my car beside me from the other direction. As we were pulling out, we both gave each other a look like, "Thank God, we're still alive!"
On my way out, I was gonna scream something like, "Pull your damn pants" up at Johnny B, but knew that my car would probably conk out right then and there, and he would pull my arms off and beat the hell outta me with them...
What a douche.