Friday, December 12, 2008

Do I ask for too much?

This is an open letter to all those 3rd world countries that make our clothing...

To whom it may concern:

WTH! I have been 5'8" for approximately 30 years now, but yet it seems that my clothes are getting shorter and shorter. Where is the rest of my shirts" What have you done to the waist of my pants? I am sure that somewhere in an office in the fashion district of New York, there's a man who sits smugly at his desk because HE was the one who came up with the brilliant idea to cut the bottom 3 inches of all shirts off to save money. It was him, with the help of his harlot of a daughter, who re-introduced hip huggers back into our everyday language. I can hear him now... "Imagine all the fabric that can be used to make even more, shorter shirts, imagine the money we'll save!!"

Well hello, I got some news for you Mr. Man. I've squeezed 3 kids out mah belly and thru my hips!!! One of them an 11 lbs, half grown toddler. Ain't no one on earth wants to see my mid- drift. And guess what, going around ALL DAY pulling down my shirt, or hitching up my pants so my battle scarred belly, and my fatback don't hang out, ARE NOT considered a form of exercise!!

I've I ever find out who you are, I'm gonna come over to your house and cut the crotch out of ALL your pants!

Have a Great Day!

P.S. You Suck.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

LOVE it! I totally agree!