Monday, November 15, 2004

The CoWorker from Heck

Ok, so then there's the new guy who sits next to me.. He tries to make like he's "The Over Achieving Young Hip Salesman of the Year". Let me tell you the poor guy drives a car to work that looks like he stole it from a crack-addicted welfare mom. (Big, old, dirty, dented and got "My child is a honor roll student at (insert school here)" bumper sticker.

This guy has the gray Elvis bouffant hair going, and wears a wife-beater under his thin little cotton dress shirts. In addition, he has his ear pierced 2 times on the left side, and once on the right. (Thankfully he doesn't sport the earrings here at the office.) He just looks nasty!

He also makes a point of talking as loudly as possible when conducting business on the phone, even standing up in his cube, so his voice projects loud and clear. Yep, I really need 8 hours of day of you screaming in my ear from your cube-hole across the way here, buddy!! Also the guy brags on and on about his sales prowness. I, ofcourse, oblige the fool by appearing to be in utter awe and adoration of his "vast knowledge of sales', while silently shooting eye darts into his heart.

Oops, I just heard him pass gas at his desk while on the phone, yuk,yuk, yuk. n-a-s-t-y b-o-y.

Anywho back to me ranting about "Larry the Sales Lizard", he just constantly brags about EVERYTHING!!!! His past sales, his future sales, his clothes, his motorcycle (which I found out he doesn't even own!) his contacts (his favorite thing to brag about.). A word about his contact list, I can pull any name out of my hiney, and he will say, "I know them!" Plu-eeze, give me a break.

OK, so I am not a sales person, but I have had the opportunity to work with the heavy hitters in my time, and this poor guy just ain't it..

Look, I know that I sound like a total be-atch raving about this guy, but jeepers what a creep he is. Atleast he is so busy buttlicking the boss all day, that he keeps the boss busy patting him on the head, instead of bitching at me.

Hey wait a minute!?!? I should be GRATEFUL!! So here's a Budweiser for you, Larry the Sales Lizard!!! You make the day a little more interesting!

Seriously, my profile says that I am trying to be Christian, but I am far from perfect and do have my rants. I am sure that when I die, God will open my Blog, go over all the trash I wrote, then ask for an explanation. I will have ALOT of explaining to do!

Anyway Church is not a Hotel for Saints, but a Hospital for Sinners! Can I get a AMEN?!?!?

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