Tuesday, September 27, 2005

How I met your father....

So will be 25 years ago this fall that I met Meh's father, biological father, sperm donor,the Zitty Man, etc...etc..

How did it all start? Oh I remember it so well. I was only in 10th grade and homecoming was on the way. For some strange reason, I had decided that I wanted to participate in high school activities, after a year of standing on the side lines...

Yes, it was homecoming, and the theme for 1980's homecoming was "Popular Music", so our class decided to go with the song "Lonesome Loser" - "Have you heard about the lonesome loser?" So our float for the "big parade" was to feature the mascot of the opposing team playing cards...alone (So original). This meant lots of chicken wire and about a million paper napkins!!

So I caught a ride to the armory, which is where each grade was building their floats for the big day, and started stuffing napkins in the frame of the float. All of a sudden, I feel a light tap tap tap on my shoulder, so I slowly turn my head, so that I wouldn't mess up my carefully coiffed feathered bangs, and looked behind me.

And there he was... in. all. his. glory. Short, pimply, with permed hair,in the 11th grade AND with a CAR!!!!! He was part of the cool, rich boy, stoner crowd, so naturally my mouth about hit the floor to see him at an after-school event. Once, I regained my composure, I gave him a little toss of the hair, and smiled. He asked me if I had plans that weekend. Did I have plans?!?! Hell it was only homecoming week, and I had no frigging date to the dance! Did I have plans, you ask?!?! "I shyly smiled and said, "Um no, why?" (Naturally thinking that he'd taken notice of my perfect Farrah Fawcett hair-do and perky little boobies and wanted to take me to the dance! (Because hell, that was my crowd, the geeky going to the school dance crowd!!)

He just said, "Cool, wanna go out this weekend?" So I (a little disappointed) said, "Sure, what did you have in mind?" (taking me to the dance, perhaps?) he said that we'd just figure it out when the time came.

Well ,the weekend came, and I wanted to go to the homecoming game atleast, so we decided that we'd move our little date to Saturday. I went to the game, with my boring (non potsmoking) friends, and he hung out (God knows where) with his druggie crew. I don't remember where we went or how the date ended, but I do remember that he was sweet, we kissed, and that I liked him very much. He introduced me to pot that night.. We also drank a little beer, but I had never been much of a drinker, so I didn't get wasted. (It used to be SO EASY to buy beer back then!!)

The weekend before, I had had a date with a "much older guy" of 19 who had his head on straight, a full time job, (aka looking for a mommy for his youngins) and had pinned me down to the front seat of his Buick and tried for dear life to get me outta of my pants. (Think God for those tight pants of the '80's) The older guy wasn't too awfully rude about it when I said, "No way." but I just knew when he dropped me off that that would be the last time I ever saw him. It was our 1st and last date, ever.

So back to the 11th grader. The first date turned into holding hands and kissing (total PDA) at school the next week, long phone conversations, and promises of other dates. So, soon after, we decide to "move it up to the next level". Yet again we go out, he drops me off at the crucial 11pm curfew, and we discover that we have the house. all. to . ourselves....... So one thing leads to another, and we are in bed together. he had already told me that he had already had sex, so I thought he was a pro. Only he was terrible. I had no clue what I was doing, but hell I had read some romance novels... (Funny thing, I didn't know that you were suppose to hold you legs up when you were having sex, I thought that they were suppose to be plastered to the bed, so he had to tell me, "Hey, you are suppose to lift you legs up a little." So stupid!)

When it was all over with, he confessed that he was a virgin, and asked me if I was. I told him, "Duh! Yes!"

It seemed that after the 1st time, we couldn't get enough of eachother. We HAD TO HAVE EACHOTHER CONSTANTLY.. And our clueless parents, never seemed to be around. so we did it at my house, his house, friends' houses. We'd lay out of school, hang out at eachother's house, smoke pot (my new best friend!) and make love.

He was so sweet, and gentle. (But he still actually sucked at making love, now that I think back on it.) The best part of being a teenager is that you have spent hours and hours of petting, by the time you ever have sex, so you are like the Masters of Foreplay. I remember often sitting between his legs while we watched TV, or listened to music, and he would rub my arms, or play with my hair for hours on end.

My family wasn't really very demonstrative when it came to love, and my mom was single, so this was totally new to me. I mistook this as REAL LOVE, haha. But hey, I was only 15 at the time.

By Christmas, it was all over between us. He like most other boys was too broke or cheap to shell out any dough for a Christmas gift on a girlfriend (People, I know this, I got 2 boys of my own!!) so he gradually quit calling, quit coming over, etc.. etc.. I feel like our sexual experience had opened the flood gates for both of us. So, he started dating a total hooker from another school, and I met an older guy (19 again, DAMN!) that my cousin introduced me too. The other guy....

....deserves his own posting.


bornfool said...

Nice post..We were all so young and dumb then. :)

Ms Meh said...

Damn, I'm the product of bad sex. Sorry 'bout that one. :D

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