Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Spring has sprung, and I can't breathe

Evidently the weather people are over the pollen. I remember years past when the nice weather people on Channel 2 (the best news channel ever.) would talk about pollen season like it was a tornado warning.

"The CDC reports that the pollen count today in at 2000. That's means that if you have allergies you must stay inside. You must not leave your house. If you leave your house or open your window, you will immediately be covered in pollen, and you will die........immediately. But (bright smile here) all the flowers and trees are in bloom and their just gorgeous so try and get out and enjoy this beautiful spring day if you can!"

I always enjoyed "Pollen Season" or Spring as I used to call it, until this year. This year, I just want to die. My sinus cavity feels like the dead sea. Whenever I talk to someone, I can feel the "sea" starting to leak out of my head. If I stand still and stick my fingers in my ears, I can hear the ocean. When I breathe in, (through my mouth ofcourse, the only thing on my head that will now take in oxygen, it feels like I am trying to breath big yellow sponge into my dead sea.

I wish I had invested in stock Pfizer, because I have made them all filthy rich by purchasing every Sudafed tablet every made in 2004 and 2005. CVS recently had a sale on Sudafed, I bought 'em out. Now sure, I could go to the Doctor, but what fun is that? He'd just load me down with medication that has all those, "This medication makes you drowsy." "Don't take this medication with alcohol." and all those other dire warnings that everyone ignores, then wishes that they didn't.

And anyway what would I complain about if I wasn't dying of pollenation?? When I was a kid, my mom told me that pollen makes your boobs grow (She said that about everything.) so I guess I'll just keep suffering and hope for the best!!

2 comments:

Idgie @ the "Dew" said...

Honey, I own stock in Claritin. I've started taking it religeously. The minute something blooms, I'm on it until Summer.

Love Spring, it hates me.

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