Monday, February 14, 2005

Please, I need advice..

My boss is a total ass. He is arrogant and pompous. These are his good qualities!! Here's my concern. He has this habit of flicking people in the head. Yep, I said FLICKING PEOPLE IN THE HEAD.

The first time he showed this side to me, we were standing in the middle of the office surrounded by about 5 other people and he had some papers in his hand. We were talking about a customer and he didn't like the answer that I gave him, so he just reached over and banged me over the head with his papers. I was stunned. I didn't know how to react. I come from a culture (upbringing) where hitting just doesn't take place, and isn't allowed. Even when you are trying to be cute. I am sure that I turned instantly red allover. (I also do not appreciate it when someone touches my head or hair - think Mary's brother in Something About Mary.)

I was so pissed, but I didn't say anything. I thought that I might be over reacting, but then I heard a coworker say to someone else in the office, "For God's sake, don't piss him off, or he'll hit you too." I told a couple of my girlfriends about it later and they were also mortified, but had no real advice on how to handle it. I also told my hubby about it and he wanted to whoop his ass. (I think because he saw how mortified I was when I told him.)

Oh it doesn't stop here. He has also done this to a coworker. And the boss has tried to flick me in the head again, twice!! One time, he was setting at his desk and I was standing beside him. (He asked me a question, then when I answered, he puts his fingers up and tries to flick me in the head.) Last time this happened I backed away and he said, "Come here." like he thought I would let him hit me!! I just looked at him real dirty and changed the subject.

Again, the stupid bastard tried to do it to me again this morning!!! This was about 10 minutes after I drove an hour and half thru the damn rain to get to work!!! Bastard!! He didn't do it, but he stood over me with his fingers about 8 inches from my forehead like he was going to flick me. I don't even know why! Ok, like I said, I need advice please.

Although I am not a hitter. (damn I have spent the last 20 something years teaching my kids not to hit) I was so close to putting my fingers together and pretending like I was going to flick him in the balls. I would have, but I thought that it would border on some kind of "sexual workplace" infraction.

I don't know what to do!! Should I say something like, "Excuse me, we do not hit." Call his Boss and tell him what's going on? Try to be cute about it when he does it? or just continue to ignore it? I don't think that I can continue to ignore it, it pisses me off so badly!

I feel that this is an intimindation thing with him. Whenever he does it to me, or I see him do it to someone else, I get really disturbed and angry. Maybe I am over reacting, but if I heard that my husband or children did this to someone, I would totally pitch the world's biggest hissy fit!

Any Ideas?


Yvonne said...

This is totally inappropriate behavior for the workplace (and anywhere else). Do you feel like you can say, "Do not flick or touch me"? I would not say include it makes you uncomfortable because obviously that is part of his intent. I would definitely report him, accompanied by others if possible. There is very little difference between sexual and physical abuse in the workplace. Good luck.

SouthernChickie said...

Thanks Yvonne, I think that at this point that I absolutely HAVE to say something him. I am so shocked when he does it, that I am usually speechless at the time.

Then afterwards, I feel like an idiot when I think about brooching the subject with him. I guess that you are right. I HAVE to say something when it occurs.

Good advice on not saying to him about how it makes me feel. I think that he would get a rush knowing that his tactic was having the desired affect on me. Thanks again for the good advice!

Idgie @ the "Dew" said...

Look him straight in the eye like a dog that's growling at you, and state very firmly, "Please do not touch me/flick me, etc. again."

You would be amazed at how just standing your ground firmly and decisively will stop someone dead in their tracks.

aka_Meritt said...

I guess I'd use a flat hand (think; the 'talk to the hand' motion) and 'block' him when he does it.

If he is coming in for a landing and you are blocking well enough you could jam the idiots finger pretty good and put him a finger cast. :)

(At the same time I'm blocking I would say in a snitty voice; "DONT TOUCH ME").

Oh Ohio House Cleaning said...

Excellent blog. It was so great and I bet I will
go back to it! I get to look online for blogs like
yours is a blessing.
In an efford of finding the right info, check for my sc south carolina house cleaning blog site.