Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Time to start burning our Bras!!

What the heck is up (or down,depending on how they hang) with my bra today. It's totally poking me in the side like a six year old on a candy rush! Dangit!! If my knockers didn't drag the floor, I'd go to the ladies room right now and throw this bra in the TOILET!!!

Whoa is the time when I use to wear my manhunting uniforms!! Matching panties and bras that kept my boobies in that nice perky place right under my chin. Hard to believe that time as flown by so fast. I still have those sets, every now and then when I am trawling thru my drawers looking for a missing sock, I will come across the odd bra or stray panty.

Last time I saw my favorite push up being worn, it was tied across my little one's chest. She thought it was the most amazing invention ever. Her little face was lit up like it was Christmas, and she adoringly gaze upon the empty cup, wishing that they would soon "runneth over". Yep, she'll regret that wish soon enough..

Well, I haven't bitched and moaned about office life lately, so here's a little update. We moved our office to the "better" side of town. We are no longer in the hood, but now in a little trendy building at the Perimeter. If you are from Atl, then you must know that the Perimeter area has more traffic than than I-95 during a Hurricane evacuation. I could throw a rock at I-285 from my office, but it takes me 20 minutes to get the darn car on the ramp every night, after work. I now have to drive 1.5 hours to get home every night!!! It's 35 miles, DADBURNIT!!!

Anyway, needless to say, tempers are short around the office, because everyone is trying to adjust to the new drive. One morning I get off the elevator a little before 9am and there sits my coworker, Bad Hair Elvis. So I ask, "Uh, what's up?" and he launches into his tirade about how he is coming from Kennesaw and how it takes him forever to get to work isf he doesn't leave early, and he's been here since 7am this morning trying to get into the office. (None of us Sales People have keys now, because we can't be trusted to not screw with the thermostats, and sharpen our pencils down to wasteful little nubs, when Management is not around.)

So we sit at the elevator for about 15 minutes waiting on someone with a key to show up. I sit, he whines, you know the routine. When suddenly the elevator doors open and there stands the receptionist (Penelope Pittstop) with that wet hair, I just rolled my ass outta bed, look. She is supposed to be in the office by 8am to let us in. She's hourly, we're not.

She's making all the crazy excuses about how she worked out new hours with management. OK, whatever, just let us in already. So she lets us in, and I turn up the computer and try to start work.

I have to go see Penelope for office supplies, so I walk back to her new office. (She picked it, by the corner, biggest-nicest office in the whole place.- I have to ask the question in my head..."Who IS that girl sleeping with?" She's the receptionist for Goodness Sakes!!!) So I am standing there, chit chatting, trying to get my damn supplies, when up walks Elvis. He interrupts as usual to ask some assinine question and then proceeds to throw 2 moving boxes into an empty office. Penelope sees red and says "Stack it up in there!" Elvis wigs out and screams at P, P screams at E. blah blah blah. (Oh yes, I slunk back to my cube.)

Then Elvis comes to me and explains why he was just a total ass to her, and wants to know if he was in the right. Then a little later, P comes to me, same thing. (Crap!-What do I look like, Ms. Manners?!?!) Anywho when the boss (Mr One Up) gets in both are racing to get to him, to tattle first. Then the boss and P race over to me to get the story. I calmly pick up the phone and pretend like I am having a deep conversation with the dial tone. He and P just stand there for like 3 minutes while I talk and talk... Finally they gave up. THANK THE LORD!!

You know when my kids whine, complain and bicker, I always threaten to show them my hideous stretch marks. And when I do, I say, "You think you got problems, Look what you did to Mommy." I was so close...HA HA.

Well it's 1:30 right now and I have all kinds of things that I need to get done. I think that I will go down and shoot the shit with the crazy (crazy nice, not crazy gonna take hostages) Iranian guy who runs the cafe downstairs.



Idgie @ the "Dew" said...

You poor thing! My hubby works at Perimeter and he will call from the car phone and tell me how it's been 35 - 40 minutes and he's still LOOKING AT the freeway entrance, but not there yet! He comes home whooped.

Of course before this he worked in Alpharetta - we cannot win.

That's one reason I did not go back to work when I was going to - to get any money making it worthwhile to put the kids in daycare, etc. I had to take offers in Alpharetta, Altanta, etc.

There was one job in Kennesaw and about 15,000 people were after it!

Idgie @ the "Dew" said...

By the way, stealing this saying - it's too good!

It's totally poking me in the side like a six year old on a candy rush!

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